Welcome to Week 2 of Van’s Vanquished, one fellow’s salute to the legacy of Leonard Postosties and his predictions of the losers rather than the winners each week in college football.
Ol’ Van could have used a double dose of Leonard’s Smart Pills last week, as he went out on a limb or two too many (not to mention plum forgetting one game altogether), and ended up going 17 and 6, in what should have been a much easier week. The weeks won’t get any easier here on out.
The Plainsmen of Auburn leave their little Village and head for the bright lights of StarkVegas Thursday night. There they'll find the Bulldogs of Mississippi State licking their chops hoping to get their canines on some East Alabama felines. Cats can be wily and usually hard to herd though, but the Cowbellers of MSU will have just enough sheep dog in them. Van’s Vanquished, Auburn.
A living legend brings his white clad Nittanies to Tuscaloosa Saturday to face the defending national champs of Alabama. JoePa may not like what he sees through those thick glasses of his as the Keystone State Lions turn into ‘fraidy cats, at the prospect of being doused by a Crimson Tide. The roar coming from Bryant-Denny won’t be that of a relative of the king of the jungle, but will be coming from a long gray trunk instead. Van’s Vanquished, Penn State.
Steve Spurrier and the Gamecocks play host to Georgia, and the Dawgs will do their best imitation of an unwanted fox in a hen house. Of course, Roosters don’t lay eggs, and so the Mutts from Athens may be disappointed. But before the USC Birds go to crow, they will discover that Bulldogs do have a taste for poultry. Van’s Vanquished, South Carolina.
The Nashville Navy of Vanderbilt stays in its home port for an early evening tilt with LSU. The ship of state that is Vandy football has already sprung a leak though, and the Cumberlanders will be bailing as fast as they can empty buckets. Meanwhile the Bayou Bengals will have a Cheshire grin on their faces ready to pounce on any Commodores that don’t go down with the ship. Van’s Vanquished, Vanderbilt.
Mississippi plays a former SEC rival Tulane in the Crescent City, while still plucking Jacksonville talons out of their hide. The Rebels of Ole Miss will be yelling and ready to hold back the Emerald tide of Two-lane and the Superdome won’t be such a Super home for the boys from New Orleans. Van’s Vanquished, Tulane.
The Mighty Ducks of Oregon will make the cross country flight to the hills of Tennessee Saturday night, where the checkerboard end zones look inviting. The Pac-10 visitors will find the Knoxville landing strip to be a bit Rocky though, and can only hope not to Quack up. Blue-tick hounds might not make great waterfowl dogs, but they won’t have to this night. Van’s Vanquished, Oregon.
In other SEC action,
The Bulls of South Florida will be vanquished by the Gators of all of Florida,
Western Kentucky will be the ones “hill” topped, vanquished by the University of Kentucky, and
Louisiana-Monroe will be vanquished by Arkansas.
In the ACC, the 2 Florida schools hit the road for marquis matchups against national powers.
In Big Ten country, the U of Miami goes to the Shoe of the Ohio State University. The denizens of Coral Gables hope to use this game as a showcase of their return to prominence, but such touting may be premature. The poison nuts that are Buckeyes have a little known use, cloud-seeding Hurricanes, and the skies over Columbus will remain calm. Van’s Vanquished, Miami.
Meanwhile, the Seminole tribe of Florida State hits the trail to what was once Indian Territory. Chief Osceola and his warriors will do their best to raid the Sooner Scooner wagon train, but all the whooping won’t do much against the Boomers. Oklahoma will be doing fine by the end of the night, with nary an arrow to pull out or a scalp out of place. Van’s Vanquished, FSU.
The two most fiendish (in mascots only) schools in the conference meet in the Tobacco Bowl on Saturday, when the Blue Devils visit the Demon Deacons. Year Two of the Cutcliffe regime at Duke started well last week, but time brings a more “formidable” foe this week in Wake Forest. No matter how weak the boys from the cigarette capital are though, the Methodists from old Trinity College will be no “match” for the Baptists of Winston. Van’s Vanquished, Duke.
Georgia Tech goes to the land of Dorothy and Toto when they travel to Kansas. The Jayhawks of the Big Twelve are better known as a basketball school, for good reason, and not just because the inventor of the game coached there. There should be no tornados to interrupt the flight path of the Yellow Jackets. Van’s Vanquished, Kansas.
In the first game of the Mike London era, the Wahoos beat their coach’s former school. There’s a tougher bridge to cross this week though when the Cavaliers ride into the Coliseum in Los Angeles to face Southern California. The equine representatives of both teams may be evenly matched, but the weaponry of their riders are not. Broad swords over sabres, Van’s Vanquished, Virginia.
Rounding out the ACC slate,
Kent State will be vanquished by Boston College,
NC State will be vanquished by Central Florida, and
In three in-state “clashes”,
Presbyterian will be vanquished by Clemson,
Morgan State will be vanquished by Maryland, and
James Madison will be vanquished by Virginia Tech.
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