One last week in the regular season and only the Atlantic (such creative division names the ACC has) title is still up for grabs. In both the ACC and SEC a lot of pride and a few bowl destinations will be on the line.
N. C. State’s task is simple. Win and they’re in, and even UNC-grad John Swofford will be pulling for them to help sell out the ACC Championship, for once. In their way are the Terrapins of Maryland. The Terps are a remarkable turnaround story this year, and they are not ready to roll over. The Raleigh Ravin’ Wolves will bring plenty of bark, but not enough bite to get through the Hard Shellers. Van’s Vanquished, N. C. State.
The marquis game in the SEC this week is of course the Iron Bowl (that name made sense when the game was played in Birmingham, home of a lot of iron works). Auburn ventures into Bryant-Denny Stadium hoping to complete yet another perfect regular season with yet another controversy. The Houndstooth Checkers will be looking to put a Crimson stain on unblemished (on the field) Tiger record. Unfortunately for Tuscaloosa faithful, Cam Newton so far has been like Superman, and even Nick Saban doesn’t have access to Kryptonite. Van’s Vanquished, Alabama.
Of course Auburn-Alabama is not the only rivalry game at the end of what has seemed like a long season. The SEC and ACC have several interconference games, most that are for bragging rights, some for bowl seeding (or even eligibility) and one just because.
In the Sunshine State, Florida State, hosts Urban Meyer and the Gators. The Seminoles have not been exactly dominating in Jimbo Fisher’s first year at the helm. And Florida has not exactly been Florida in Year 1 A. T. (After Teboe). If this game comes down to a field goal, it’ll be a happy ride back to Gainesville. But if the Tommyhawkers can hold on to the ball, they shouldn’t have to worry about Wide Anything. Van’s Vanquished, Florida.
In the Palmetto State, the Ol’ Ball Coach will try to keep his men from looking past Clemson before their first trip (and probably last) to Atlanta. The Karolina Kitties of Dabo Swinney have been a fickle bunch this year, alternating good and bad games. By the calendar this should be a bad week for them, and the normally feline-averse Black and Garnet Birds have their talons sharpened. Van’s Vanquished, Clemson.
In the Peach State the game is between Georgia Tech and Georgia in that city of learning, Athens. You could hear the exhaled sigh of relief leave Bobby Dodd Stadium last week as the Jackets became bowl eligible for the 14th straight year. The Dawgs need to beat the North Avenue Traders to keep their own bowl streak at the same number. Clean Old Fashioned Hate may be exchanged between the two schools, but over the years there hasn’t been a great exchange of victories on the playing field. Losing record or not, the Slobbering Red Clay Hounds beat the Buzzers, it’s what they do. Van’s Vanquished, Georgia Tech.
The last interconference game has those two powerhouses, Wake Forest and Vanderbilt, facing each other in Nashville. While their records may be abysmal, their IQs are not. Van’s Vanquished, Weak Forest.
In the SEC two games will determine the winner of Golden trophies. The far bigger game is in Little Rock as LSU and Arkansas vie for the Golden Boot. LSU has dreams of a BCS berth and Bobby Petrino would love to play spoiler. Ryan Mallette and his Razorback receiving corps will be licking their chops to get into the pretty porous secondary of the Bayou Bengals. The Louisianans and their coach Lucky Les will need to find a way to stop the Hogs, or else the War Memorial Stadium grass will have to be resodded. Van’s Vanquished, LSU.
The other Golden trophy quest has Ole Miss traveling to Nashvegas where they will battle Mississippi State for the Golden Egg. The Black Bear Rebels have made their share of contests interesting this year, but dramas don’t play will under the din of cowbells and barking Bulldogs. Van’s Vanquished, Ole Miss.
In Knoxville, Kentucky (bowl-eligible) and Tennessee (not) square off. Unfortunately for the Volunteers, there is no Beer Barrel trophy to play for any more in this series, and the UK Mildcats are rested, having not played a real game in the month of November. Van’s Vanquished, Tennessee.
In the other ACC games,
Another first year coach, Virginia’s Mike London, sees a season mercifully end in Blacksburg, as Virginia Tech vanquishes UVA.
A possibly final year coach, Miami’s Randy Shannon, leads the Canes against South Florida (which isn’t really in South Florida). Van’s Vanquished. USF.
And for two schools where basketball season can’t start soon enough, UNC and Duke finish their slates in Durham. Butch Davis survives to coach another year and David Cutcliffe also continues to draw a paycheck. To quote Bobby Cremins, Duke is Duke. Van’s Vanquished, Duke.
Friday, November 26, 2010
Thursday, November 18, 2010
The Vanquished - Week 12
Two weeks left in the regular season and almost all the puzzle pieces are in place for both the SEC and ACC. Both halves of the Atlanta game are set, with one first time contestant, while the ACC Championship may soon be known as the Virginia Tech Invitational.
All Virginia Tech has to do to go to Charlotte is beat its old Big East rival Miami. That game this week is in South Florida, where the Canes are really drawin’ in the big crowds these days. The Coral Gables crew trotted out a new QB last week to great success, but that new gunslinger hasn’t seen the likes of Frank Beamer’s posse. The Hokies themselves have found their stride and it’ll take more than a gentle breeze to blow them off course. Van’s Vanquished, Miami.
The other division race in the ACC this week features 2 teams that control their own destinies. If Florida State wins at Maryland, they are bound for the Queen City. That’d be quite the feather in the war bonnet for Jimbo Fisher, first year out of the gate. Meanwhile, Ralph Friedgen has done the difficult and turned a set of usually slow Turtles around and made them contenders. Terrapin shells should be hard enough to deflect Seminole arrows. Van’s Vanquished, FSU.
North Carolina State puts its slim (and near none) chances of a division title on the line when the Howlers travel 15 miles down I-40 to Chapel Hill. The boys in baby blue have made the best of a bad situation and would love to spoil the ag schoolers title hopes. Wolves though do love the taste of mutton and will be licking their chops when they hit the field, sending Carolina to the Southern Part of Heaven a little before they’re ready. Van’s Vanquished, UNC.
Georgia Tech tries to make itself bowl-eligible by beating the Duke Blue Devils. First they have to actually beat the Durham denizens. The gridironers of the State University of New Jersey-South have had an up and mostly down season. The Empire State of the South’s finest meanwhile have been more Wrecked than Ramblin’. Week Two of a backup quarterback will hopefully be better then Week One, but the odds are not good for the Atlantans. Van’s Vanquished, Georgia Tech.
In the remaining ACC contests, Boston College will vanquish Virginia, and Clemson will vanquish Wake Forest.
The SEC schedule is pretty light (marshmallow light even) this week, with just 2 games of note.
LSU gets to host the CBS game of the week again this week as Ole Miss comes to town. With the division race settled, now the Bayou Bengals are just playing for the best bowl they can get. The Black Bear Rebels are just hoping for a bowl of any sort but to get there they’ll have to avoid getting bit by any Tigers. Unfortunately for the Oxfordians, Louisiana Cats are quick on a field kept short by a coach that grazes on grass. Van’s Vanquished, Mississippi.
Speaking of the post season, Arkansas and Mississippi State will be jockeying for the attention and affection of bowl reps this week in Starkvegas. The Petrino Pigskinners have the second longest win streak in the conference and will bring plenty of Sooie Pig shouters to the Magnolia State. The home crowd will do their best to drown out the Hog Callers with their cowbells. Unfortunately nothing will drown out the Cam Newton chatter. Van’s Vanquished, MSU.
In the only other conference “battle” of the week, Tennessee and Vanderbilt duke it out for “bragging rights” in the Volunteer State. This backyard brawl is more a race to the bottom, a race the Commodores will sail on to win, as the season will soon end mercifully for both teams. Van’s Vanquished, Vandy.
Elsewhere in the SEC, South Carolina will vanquish Troy, Florida will vanquish Appalachian, and Alabama vanquished Georgia State the day the contract for that game was signed.
All Virginia Tech has to do to go to Charlotte is beat its old Big East rival Miami. That game this week is in South Florida, where the Canes are really drawin’ in the big crowds these days. The Coral Gables crew trotted out a new QB last week to great success, but that new gunslinger hasn’t seen the likes of Frank Beamer’s posse. The Hokies themselves have found their stride and it’ll take more than a gentle breeze to blow them off course. Van’s Vanquished, Miami.
The other division race in the ACC this week features 2 teams that control their own destinies. If Florida State wins at Maryland, they are bound for the Queen City. That’d be quite the feather in the war bonnet for Jimbo Fisher, first year out of the gate. Meanwhile, Ralph Friedgen has done the difficult and turned a set of usually slow Turtles around and made them contenders. Terrapin shells should be hard enough to deflect Seminole arrows. Van’s Vanquished, FSU.
North Carolina State puts its slim (and near none) chances of a division title on the line when the Howlers travel 15 miles down I-40 to Chapel Hill. The boys in baby blue have made the best of a bad situation and would love to spoil the ag schoolers title hopes. Wolves though do love the taste of mutton and will be licking their chops when they hit the field, sending Carolina to the Southern Part of Heaven a little before they’re ready. Van’s Vanquished, UNC.
Georgia Tech tries to make itself bowl-eligible by beating the Duke Blue Devils. First they have to actually beat the Durham denizens. The gridironers of the State University of New Jersey-South have had an up and mostly down season. The Empire State of the South’s finest meanwhile have been more Wrecked than Ramblin’. Week Two of a backup quarterback will hopefully be better then Week One, but the odds are not good for the Atlantans. Van’s Vanquished, Georgia Tech.
In the remaining ACC contests, Boston College will vanquish Virginia, and Clemson will vanquish Wake Forest.
The SEC schedule is pretty light (marshmallow light even) this week, with just 2 games of note.
LSU gets to host the CBS game of the week again this week as Ole Miss comes to town. With the division race settled, now the Bayou Bengals are just playing for the best bowl they can get. The Black Bear Rebels are just hoping for a bowl of any sort but to get there they’ll have to avoid getting bit by any Tigers. Unfortunately for the Oxfordians, Louisiana Cats are quick on a field kept short by a coach that grazes on grass. Van’s Vanquished, Mississippi.
Speaking of the post season, Arkansas and Mississippi State will be jockeying for the attention and affection of bowl reps this week in Starkvegas. The Petrino Pigskinners have the second longest win streak in the conference and will bring plenty of Sooie Pig shouters to the Magnolia State. The home crowd will do their best to drown out the Hog Callers with their cowbells. Unfortunately nothing will drown out the Cam Newton chatter. Van’s Vanquished, MSU.
In the only other conference “battle” of the week, Tennessee and Vanderbilt duke it out for “bragging rights” in the Volunteer State. This backyard brawl is more a race to the bottom, a race the Commodores will sail on to win, as the season will soon end mercifully for both teams. Van’s Vanquished, Vandy.
Elsewhere in the SEC, South Carolina will vanquish Troy, Florida will vanquish Appalachian, and Alabama vanquished Georgia State the day the contract for that game was signed.
Friday, November 12, 2010
The Vanquished - Week 11
Whew! The old soothsayer Van pretty much whiffed last week, at least on the bigger games. Maybe an extra dose of Smart Pills is in order for this week. The coaches involved are certainly gonna need more smarts than many of them demonstrated. On to the Week 11 picks.
South Carolina is on the brink of going to its first SEC Championship ever, evah! Only the Gators of Florida stand in their way. Unfortunately for the Gamecocks, the wetlands denizens are more than happy to get out of that way because … for South Carolina the brink is really the edge of the cliff they are about to fall over. The Ol’ Ball Coach will not seem so Superior in his own stomping grounds as the Orange reptiles chomp on some Garnet drumsticks. Van’s Vanquished, South Carolina.
Auburn’s perfect season continues on the field as it welcomes its oldest rival Georgia to town. Sadly for the Plainsmen, “perfect” is not a word that can be used for them off the field. The Bulldogs would love to take advantage of that controversy as their saintly coach brings them down I-85. The Red Clay Hounds will find though, that once the Tigers get their helmets on, payola will be forgotten, temporarily at least. Van’s Vanquished, Georgia.
Alabama hosts the other Bulldogs of the SEC, Mississippi State, in its first home game in several weeks. MSU is rested and ready to put its part in the Cam Newton saga on the back burner for 60 minutes. The Crimson Pachyderms will look to regain their footing as after last week’s stumble and little Maroon dogs make good dance step maps. That and a little home cooking will do the Tide wonders. Van’s Vanquished, Mississippi State.
In other SEC games, Kentucky will vanquish Vanderbilt, Arkansas will vanquish UTEP and LSU will vanquish Louisiana-Monroe.
In the ACC Virginia Tech looks to move one step closer to its usual division championship as it goes to Chapel Hill. The boys in baby blue surprised FSU and probably can’t sneak on the Gobblers from Blacksburg. For Butch Davis, the off-field issues seem to have subsided, just as Beamer Ball has gotten itself into gear. The Hokies might find a little Tar slowin’ them down, but not much. Van’s Vanquished, UNC.
Clemson got back on the winning track last week but this is another week and the opponent tougher. The Seminoles are still smarting from getting the horn last week and will have their tomahawks sharp and ready. Dabo’s darlings can be elusive Cats, but Oseola and his whole tribe will be after them this time. FSU will come out of this scrap with just a few scratches. Van’s Vanquished, Clemson.
Georgia Tech commemorates its 1990 National Championship season this week and Miami is the guest. The Yellow Jackets would love to borrow some of that magic from 20 years ago against a Hurricane team, while not blowing at full strength, will still bring the rain. The QB for the Coral Gables crowd isn’t decided yet, but Tech’s is. Starting a backup quarterback is not generally a recipe for success and the North Avenue Trade Schoolers haven’t been very good cooks this year. Van’s Vanquished, Georgia Tech.
In the remaining ACC matchups, Duke will vanquish Boston College, Maryland will vanquish Virginia, and N. C. State will vanquish Wake Forest.
South Carolina is on the brink of going to its first SEC Championship ever, evah! Only the Gators of Florida stand in their way. Unfortunately for the Gamecocks, the wetlands denizens are more than happy to get out of that way because … for South Carolina the brink is really the edge of the cliff they are about to fall over. The Ol’ Ball Coach will not seem so Superior in his own stomping grounds as the Orange reptiles chomp on some Garnet drumsticks. Van’s Vanquished, South Carolina.
Auburn’s perfect season continues on the field as it welcomes its oldest rival Georgia to town. Sadly for the Plainsmen, “perfect” is not a word that can be used for them off the field. The Bulldogs would love to take advantage of that controversy as their saintly coach brings them down I-85. The Red Clay Hounds will find though, that once the Tigers get their helmets on, payola will be forgotten, temporarily at least. Van’s Vanquished, Georgia.
Alabama hosts the other Bulldogs of the SEC, Mississippi State, in its first home game in several weeks. MSU is rested and ready to put its part in the Cam Newton saga on the back burner for 60 minutes. The Crimson Pachyderms will look to regain their footing as after last week’s stumble and little Maroon dogs make good dance step maps. That and a little home cooking will do the Tide wonders. Van’s Vanquished, Mississippi State.
In other SEC games, Kentucky will vanquish Vanderbilt, Arkansas will vanquish UTEP and LSU will vanquish Louisiana-Monroe.
In the ACC Virginia Tech looks to move one step closer to its usual division championship as it goes to Chapel Hill. The boys in baby blue surprised FSU and probably can’t sneak on the Gobblers from Blacksburg. For Butch Davis, the off-field issues seem to have subsided, just as Beamer Ball has gotten itself into gear. The Hokies might find a little Tar slowin’ them down, but not much. Van’s Vanquished, UNC.
Clemson got back on the winning track last week but this is another week and the opponent tougher. The Seminoles are still smarting from getting the horn last week and will have their tomahawks sharp and ready. Dabo’s darlings can be elusive Cats, but Oseola and his whole tribe will be after them this time. FSU will come out of this scrap with just a few scratches. Van’s Vanquished, Clemson.
Georgia Tech commemorates its 1990 National Championship season this week and Miami is the guest. The Yellow Jackets would love to borrow some of that magic from 20 years ago against a Hurricane team, while not blowing at full strength, will still bring the rain. The QB for the Coral Gables crowd isn’t decided yet, but Tech’s is. Starting a backup quarterback is not generally a recipe for success and the North Avenue Trade Schoolers haven’t been very good cooks this year. Van’s Vanquished, Georgia Tech.
In the remaining ACC matchups, Duke will vanquish Boston College, Maryland will vanquish Virginia, and N. C. State will vanquish Wake Forest.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
The Vanquished - Week 10
The SEC and the ACC continue along their diverging paths in week 10 of the season, as the big boys take a mini-break from intraleague competition, and the junior varsity plays a full slate of conference games.
The standard bearers of the ACC, Virginia Tech hosts perennial Thursday night contestant Georgia Tech. Both teams had last week off, the Ramblin’ Wreck needing it much more. Unfortunately this late in the year Paul Johnson’s mechanics can only hope to tune up a team in need of an overhaul. The dirt road to Blacksburg won’t be kind to a Model A’s suspension and neither will the Beamer Ballers waiting. Van’s Vanquished, Georgia Tech.
The Textile Bowl takes place this year in the Upstate of South Carolina when N. C. State goes to Clemson. Dabo’s cast of orange-clad kittens will try to get back on track against crop of canines coming off an upset of FSU. The felines will need to be a lot more ferocious this week than last and not run at the first howl from the Red Packers. Fraidy cats after all, Van’s Vanquished, Clemson.
North Carolina took on one Tribe last week and barely beat both of them. This week’s Native Americans will be bringing a lot more firesticks to the powwow in Tallahassee. The Tar Heels will soon be looking for wagons to circle but won’t find any, and the plane ride back to the Triangle will be filled with some black and Carolina blue passengers. Van’s Vanquished, UNC.
Maryland returns to the scene, sorta, of one of its greatest comebacks when the Terps go to Miami. These two teams look like they’re moving in the opposite direction though, as the Shellbacks set a new land speed record last week, and the Hurricanes were not as a strong as a gentle breeze. Down a starting quarterback, the Coral Gables crowd will soon be down another rung in the standings. Van’s Vanquished, Miami.
In other thrilling ACC action, Boston College will vanquish Wake Forest, and Duke will vanquish Virginia.
Meanwhile, over in the SEC, the conference takes a break from league play to pad their win totals for bowl consideration.
The highlight game of the week has Nick Saban returning to his old stomping grounds, but on the opposite sideline. The game features one conniving coach versus one clueless coach, and it don’t take a rocket scientist to figure out which boss has more gray matter. The Tide has plenty of Gray Pachyderms too, and them, plus coachin’ smarts, oughta be enough to compensate for the lucky Louisianans. Van’s Vanquished, LSU.
The Ryan Mallett show makes its tour stop in Columbia this week, short a band member or two. The Ol’ Ball Coach has the Gamecocks on the edge of its first ever division title and look to move one step closer to Atlanta by bushwacking some Hogs. Arkansas would like nothing better than to spoil those Georgia Dome dreams of USC, and will show some fight. Just not enough fight though, as Steve Superior and his Garnet clad cohorts find a way. Van’s Vanquished, Arkansas.
Florida benefitted last week from a Georgia QB who seemed to have had too many cocktails, even if he is underage, and collected an inordinate amount of turnovers. This week’s opponent’s Vanderbilt, probably won’t be so giving, even if their beverage of choice is more potent. Despite not playing like it most of this year, the Gators have just too much talent to lay an egg in Nashville. Van’s Vanquished, Vanderbilt.
In the non-conference tilts, such that they are,
Auburn will vanquish UT-Chattanooga,
Mississippi will vanquish Louisiana-Lafayette,
Kentucky will vanquish Charleston Southern,
Georgia will vanquish Idaho State, and
Tennessee will vanquish Memphis.
The standard bearers of the ACC, Virginia Tech hosts perennial Thursday night contestant Georgia Tech. Both teams had last week off, the Ramblin’ Wreck needing it much more. Unfortunately this late in the year Paul Johnson’s mechanics can only hope to tune up a team in need of an overhaul. The dirt road to Blacksburg won’t be kind to a Model A’s suspension and neither will the Beamer Ballers waiting. Van’s Vanquished, Georgia Tech.
The Textile Bowl takes place this year in the Upstate of South Carolina when N. C. State goes to Clemson. Dabo’s cast of orange-clad kittens will try to get back on track against crop of canines coming off an upset of FSU. The felines will need to be a lot more ferocious this week than last and not run at the first howl from the Red Packers. Fraidy cats after all, Van’s Vanquished, Clemson.
North Carolina took on one Tribe last week and barely beat both of them. This week’s Native Americans will be bringing a lot more firesticks to the powwow in Tallahassee. The Tar Heels will soon be looking for wagons to circle but won’t find any, and the plane ride back to the Triangle will be filled with some black and Carolina blue passengers. Van’s Vanquished, UNC.
Maryland returns to the scene, sorta, of one of its greatest comebacks when the Terps go to Miami. These two teams look like they’re moving in the opposite direction though, as the Shellbacks set a new land speed record last week, and the Hurricanes were not as a strong as a gentle breeze. Down a starting quarterback, the Coral Gables crowd will soon be down another rung in the standings. Van’s Vanquished, Miami.
In other thrilling ACC action, Boston College will vanquish Wake Forest, and Duke will vanquish Virginia.
Meanwhile, over in the SEC, the conference takes a break from league play to pad their win totals for bowl consideration.
The highlight game of the week has Nick Saban returning to his old stomping grounds, but on the opposite sideline. The game features one conniving coach versus one clueless coach, and it don’t take a rocket scientist to figure out which boss has more gray matter. The Tide has plenty of Gray Pachyderms too, and them, plus coachin’ smarts, oughta be enough to compensate for the lucky Louisianans. Van’s Vanquished, LSU.
The Ryan Mallett show makes its tour stop in Columbia this week, short a band member or two. The Ol’ Ball Coach has the Gamecocks on the edge of its first ever division title and look to move one step closer to Atlanta by bushwacking some Hogs. Arkansas would like nothing better than to spoil those Georgia Dome dreams of USC, and will show some fight. Just not enough fight though, as Steve Superior and his Garnet clad cohorts find a way. Van’s Vanquished, Arkansas.
Florida benefitted last week from a Georgia QB who seemed to have had too many cocktails, even if he is underage, and collected an inordinate amount of turnovers. This week’s opponent’s Vanderbilt, probably won’t be so giving, even if their beverage of choice is more potent. Despite not playing like it most of this year, the Gators have just too much talent to lay an egg in Nashville. Van’s Vanquished, Vanderbilt.
In the non-conference tilts, such that they are,
Auburn will vanquish UT-Chattanooga,
Mississippi will vanquish Louisiana-Lafayette,
Kentucky will vanquish Charleston Southern,
Georgia will vanquish Idaho State, and
Tennessee will vanquish Memphis.
Friday, October 29, 2010
The Vanquished - Week 9
Another week in the SEC brought some clarity to half of the SEC and most of the ACC. This week’s contests will find some teams trying to maintain the separation, small as it is, they have from the rest of the pack, in the SEC, and a couple of teams in the ACC trying to continue their little bit of mo-mentum.
The SEC has no real “game of the week” this week, but the current pride of the conference, Auburn, will try to do what other teams have not, hold unto the number one ranking in the land. To do so the lower Alabama Jungle Cats will go west to Oxford where some Black Bears will be waiting. The Plainsmen were anything but Plain last week but this week Vanilla will probably do. The Grovers will do their best to bring down the War Eagle but their sights will be a bit off. Van’s Vanquished, Ole Miss.
South Carolina clings to its tenuous lead in the East as it storms the beaches of Rocky Top. Waiting with both barrels will be some less than organized Volunteers. The Gamecocks have not exactly struck fear in the hearts of the team’s whose positions they’ve invaded, but the Orange Clad hilltoppers have been pretty ready to retreat lately. Van’s Vanquished, Tennessee.
By this time Urban Meyer may be reconsidering his short lived retirement as this clutch of Gators has been very stress inducing. Their opponent this week in Jacksonville, the Bulldogs of Georgia may have turned the proverbial corner. The Gainesville denizens have had an extra week to prepare for a team they’ve pretty much owned in recent years, but will probably still be working on their game plan on the bus ride to the stadium. Van’s Vanquished, Florida.
In the other SEC tilts, Arkansas will vanquish Vanderbilt and Kentucky will vanquish Mississippi State.
The ACC’s best game was played Thursday and your humble pigskin picker is glad he was too lazy to divine the loser in advance, because he would have been wrong. N. C. State vanquished Florida State, contrary to ol’ Van’s expectations.
The other matchups this week in the conference are uncompelling, to put it mildly. Clemson and Maryland will look to keep pace with the above State teams, and both will. Clemson will vanquish Boston College, and Maryland will vanquish Wake Forest. In the other division, Miami appears to be heading to a winner take all game later with Virginia Tech. This week they will vanquish Virginia.
In the other ACC games, North Carolina will vanquish William,and Mary, and Navy will vanquish Duke.
The SEC has no real “game of the week” this week, but the current pride of the conference, Auburn, will try to do what other teams have not, hold unto the number one ranking in the land. To do so the lower Alabama Jungle Cats will go west to Oxford where some Black Bears will be waiting. The Plainsmen were anything but Plain last week but this week Vanilla will probably do. The Grovers will do their best to bring down the War Eagle but their sights will be a bit off. Van’s Vanquished, Ole Miss.
South Carolina clings to its tenuous lead in the East as it storms the beaches of Rocky Top. Waiting with both barrels will be some less than organized Volunteers. The Gamecocks have not exactly struck fear in the hearts of the team’s whose positions they’ve invaded, but the Orange Clad hilltoppers have been pretty ready to retreat lately. Van’s Vanquished, Tennessee.
By this time Urban Meyer may be reconsidering his short lived retirement as this clutch of Gators has been very stress inducing. Their opponent this week in Jacksonville, the Bulldogs of Georgia may have turned the proverbial corner. The Gainesville denizens have had an extra week to prepare for a team they’ve pretty much owned in recent years, but will probably still be working on their game plan on the bus ride to the stadium. Van’s Vanquished, Florida.
In the other SEC tilts, Arkansas will vanquish Vanderbilt and Kentucky will vanquish Mississippi State.
The ACC’s best game was played Thursday and your humble pigskin picker is glad he was too lazy to divine the loser in advance, because he would have been wrong. N. C. State vanquished Florida State, contrary to ol’ Van’s expectations.
The other matchups this week in the conference are uncompelling, to put it mildly. Clemson and Maryland will look to keep pace with the above State teams, and both will. Clemson will vanquish Boston College, and Maryland will vanquish Wake Forest. In the other division, Miami appears to be heading to a winner take all game later with Virginia Tech. This week they will vanquish Virginia.
In the other ACC games, North Carolina will vanquish William,and Mary, and Navy will vanquish Duke.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
The Vanquished - Week 8
This year’s SEC East looks like it’s a battle of who wants it lEast, as frontrunners fall and traditional powerhouses stumble. Meanwhile it will be fun to see how the West will be won. In the South’s other league, otherwise known as the ACC, your football forecaster Van here predicts a foggy finish for who will get the “right” to go to Charlotte.
The game of the week in the SEC is a Cat versus Cat tussle as LSU goes to Auburn. Les Miles and the Bayou Bengals struggled a bit last week, but then they always do it seems. Gene Chizik’s troup of Tigers had a little easier time, if you call giving up 4 touchdowns to a backup quarterback easy. This contest won’t be a classic 3 yards and a cloud of dust, and as lucky as the Red Stick Kitties have been, the East Alabama felines best hope that they have the ball last. Van’s Vanquished, LSU.
In a game that used to mean something, Alabama travels to Knoxville to face Tennessee. The mountain men from UT might be tempted to Volunteer for early season termination, the way this year has gone. The Crimson Tide still has high hopes to be the one loss team in the National Championship, and won’t let some blue tick hounds get in their way. Van’s Vanquished, Tennessee.
The team from the former Southwest Conference welcomes the team formerly known as the Rebels into Fayetteville Saturday. The Razorbacks hope for a division championship took a hit last week, as did their starting quarterback. The Black Bears of Oxford are not that punchy though, and often look like they’d be happier in a circus than in the wild. The Mississippians will be looking for the nearest Ol’ Man river crossing before the day is long. Van’s Vanquished, Ole Miss.
Kentucky finds itself in the rare place of being a favorite in an SEC game when Georgia comes to town. The Wildcats made a valiant comeback last week and were rewarded with a gift win for their efforts. The Bulldogs aren’t such a giving team though and will be looking to make the home team as blue as their grass. Unfortunately for the Red Clay Hounds, the Lexington Lads look good in blue and won’t be in need of any comebacks this week. Van’s Vanquished, Georgia.
In the other SEC contests, South Carolina will vanquish Vanderbilt and Mississippi State will vanquish UAB.
Meanwhile, over in the ACC this week there are two, count ‘em two, semi-interesting matchups.
Georgia Tech heads up I-85 to the sleepy town of Clemson to face Dabo and his kids. The Carolina Cats had their most complete game of the season last week against Maryland while the Yellow Jackets held a scrimmage against Middle Tennessee. The North Avenue Trade Schoolers have been searching for a defense this year and unfortunately that search is still ongoing. Before the sun sets in Death Valley the Rambling Wreck will be driving through an Orange haze. Van’s Vanquished, Georgia Tech.
Sometimes Butch Davis must wish he’d never left South Florida for the sun-drenched climes of Cleveland. This week he’ll be reminded of that life changing decision as he takes his new team to FLA to face his old team Miami. Given the “adversity” of this season so far, the Tar Heels record is practically over achievement. The Hurricanes meanwhile have underachieved (at least by their wishful standards) and their performance on the field so far has been a Category None. The U will not be a happy place as the South Beach skies turn Carolina Blue. Van’s Vanquished, Miami.
In the other ACC games of the day, Maryland will vanquish Boston College, Virginia Tech will vanquish Duke, and Virginia will vanquish Eastern Michigan.
The game of the week in the SEC is a Cat versus Cat tussle as LSU goes to Auburn. Les Miles and the Bayou Bengals struggled a bit last week, but then they always do it seems. Gene Chizik’s troup of Tigers had a little easier time, if you call giving up 4 touchdowns to a backup quarterback easy. This contest won’t be a classic 3 yards and a cloud of dust, and as lucky as the Red Stick Kitties have been, the East Alabama felines best hope that they have the ball last. Van’s Vanquished, LSU.
In a game that used to mean something, Alabama travels to Knoxville to face Tennessee. The mountain men from UT might be tempted to Volunteer for early season termination, the way this year has gone. The Crimson Tide still has high hopes to be the one loss team in the National Championship, and won’t let some blue tick hounds get in their way. Van’s Vanquished, Tennessee.
The team from the former Southwest Conference welcomes the team formerly known as the Rebels into Fayetteville Saturday. The Razorbacks hope for a division championship took a hit last week, as did their starting quarterback. The Black Bears of Oxford are not that punchy though, and often look like they’d be happier in a circus than in the wild. The Mississippians will be looking for the nearest Ol’ Man river crossing before the day is long. Van’s Vanquished, Ole Miss.
Kentucky finds itself in the rare place of being a favorite in an SEC game when Georgia comes to town. The Wildcats made a valiant comeback last week and were rewarded with a gift win for their efforts. The Bulldogs aren’t such a giving team though and will be looking to make the home team as blue as their grass. Unfortunately for the Red Clay Hounds, the Lexington Lads look good in blue and won’t be in need of any comebacks this week. Van’s Vanquished, Georgia.
In the other SEC contests, South Carolina will vanquish Vanderbilt and Mississippi State will vanquish UAB.
Meanwhile, over in the ACC this week there are two, count ‘em two, semi-interesting matchups.
Georgia Tech heads up I-85 to the sleepy town of Clemson to face Dabo and his kids. The Carolina Cats had their most complete game of the season last week against Maryland while the Yellow Jackets held a scrimmage against Middle Tennessee. The North Avenue Trade Schoolers have been searching for a defense this year and unfortunately that search is still ongoing. Before the sun sets in Death Valley the Rambling Wreck will be driving through an Orange haze. Van’s Vanquished, Georgia Tech.
Sometimes Butch Davis must wish he’d never left South Florida for the sun-drenched climes of Cleveland. This week he’ll be reminded of that life changing decision as he takes his new team to FLA to face his old team Miami. Given the “adversity” of this season so far, the Tar Heels record is practically over achievement. The Hurricanes meanwhile have underachieved (at least by their wishful standards) and their performance on the field so far has been a Category None. The U will not be a happy place as the South Beach skies turn Carolina Blue. Van’s Vanquished, Miami.
In the other ACC games of the day, Maryland will vanquish Boston College, Virginia Tech will vanquish Duke, and Virginia will vanquish Eastern Michigan.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
The Vanquished - Week 7
The college football regular season is half over and division races in both the SEC and ACC are wide open. The few surprises so far this year may end up creating surprise winners when all is said and done, but for now we’ll focus on this week’s losers.
In the SEC the game of the week is Arkansas versus Auburn. The Tigers will be trying to keep their perfect season perfect and would love nothing better than to add a little pork to their diet. Razorback hides are notoriously tough though, and the sooie pigs from Fayetteville can be hard to catch. Nevertheless by the end of the night there’ll be an apple in Bobby Petrino’s mouth for a genuine lower Alabama pig pickin’. Van’s Vanquished, Arkansas.
South Carolina goes to Kentucky with its first top 10 ranking in a long time. In Lexington Steve Superior and the Gamecocks will try to prove that last week’s vanquishing of Alabama wasn’t a fluke. The Garnet and Black Roosters have been flying high this week, but will find some bluegrass Wildcats ready and able to pounce. Van’s Vanquished, South Carolina.
Florida welcomes former Gator assistant Dan Mullen and his Mississippi State Bulldogs to Gainesville. The Swamp is familiar territory to Mullen, but the Gators are a little lost in the midst of a two-game losing streak. The Maroon Mutts may be rabid, but the Orange and Blue Reptiles are cold-blooded and won’t take kindly to puppies nipping at their tails. Van’s Vanquished, Mississippi State.
In the “who really cares?” conference game of the week, Vanderbilt plays in its 1000th Homecoming Game when it goes to Georgia. The last time Vandy and UGA had the same number of conference wins this late in the season they were in the Southern Conference together. The Athens Acolytes will be introducing their newest mascot UGA VIII (that’s “ate” for some of y’all) in what, aside from a certain victory, will be the highlight of the day. Van’s Vanquished, Vanderbilt.
Elsewhere, Coach Vegas and LSU will vanquish McNeese State.
Sad but true, the ACC has no interesting matchups this week. Ol’ Van is very unmotivated to pick the would be vanquishers when the most “competitive” game is Maryland at Clemson. Let’s start there and get it over with.
The supposedly slimmer Ralph Friedgen leads the Marylanders to South Carolina to face the Tigers. What’s really slimmer is Dabo Swinney’s prospects of continuing as the Clemson coach, and Death Valley has not been exactly deadly lately. The Terps have beat no one of note this year, and the Esso Club’s favorite team is not exactly noteworthy. Still though, the team with the Claws is the home team and that’ll be enough to fear no Turtle. Van’s Vanquished, Maryland.
Butch Davis (we barely knew ya) continues his farewell tour of the ACC by traveling to Virginia to hear some Hoos. Fortunately for him and the Heels, the Cavalier offense is impotent, even against a young defense like UNC’s. Unfortunately for Davis and the Baby Blues, Carolina never wins in Charlottesville. This time will be no different, as the Chapel Hill contingent will find a new way to lose. Van’s Vanquished, North Carolina.
And that my friends, are the two, count ‘em two, games on the ACC slate that make me want to go to any lengths to describe their outcomes. Here are the rest of the vanquished for the week:
Florida State will vanquish Boston College,
Miami will vanquish Duke,
Georgia Tech will vanquish Middle Tennessee State,
North Carolina State will vanquish East Carolina,
And Virginia Tech will vanquish Wake Forest.
In the SEC the game of the week is Arkansas versus Auburn. The Tigers will be trying to keep their perfect season perfect and would love nothing better than to add a little pork to their diet. Razorback hides are notoriously tough though, and the sooie pigs from Fayetteville can be hard to catch. Nevertheless by the end of the night there’ll be an apple in Bobby Petrino’s mouth for a genuine lower Alabama pig pickin’. Van’s Vanquished, Arkansas.
South Carolina goes to Kentucky with its first top 10 ranking in a long time. In Lexington Steve Superior and the Gamecocks will try to prove that last week’s vanquishing of Alabama wasn’t a fluke. The Garnet and Black Roosters have been flying high this week, but will find some bluegrass Wildcats ready and able to pounce. Van’s Vanquished, South Carolina.
Florida welcomes former Gator assistant Dan Mullen and his Mississippi State Bulldogs to Gainesville. The Swamp is familiar territory to Mullen, but the Gators are a little lost in the midst of a two-game losing streak. The Maroon Mutts may be rabid, but the Orange and Blue Reptiles are cold-blooded and won’t take kindly to puppies nipping at their tails. Van’s Vanquished, Mississippi State.
In the “who really cares?” conference game of the week, Vanderbilt plays in its 1000th Homecoming Game when it goes to Georgia. The last time Vandy and UGA had the same number of conference wins this late in the season they were in the Southern Conference together. The Athens Acolytes will be introducing their newest mascot UGA VIII (that’s “ate” for some of y’all) in what, aside from a certain victory, will be the highlight of the day. Van’s Vanquished, Vanderbilt.
Elsewhere, Coach Vegas and LSU will vanquish McNeese State.
Sad but true, the ACC has no interesting matchups this week. Ol’ Van is very unmotivated to pick the would be vanquishers when the most “competitive” game is Maryland at Clemson. Let’s start there and get it over with.
The supposedly slimmer Ralph Friedgen leads the Marylanders to South Carolina to face the Tigers. What’s really slimmer is Dabo Swinney’s prospects of continuing as the Clemson coach, and Death Valley has not been exactly deadly lately. The Terps have beat no one of note this year, and the Esso Club’s favorite team is not exactly noteworthy. Still though, the team with the Claws is the home team and that’ll be enough to fear no Turtle. Van’s Vanquished, Maryland.
Butch Davis (we barely knew ya) continues his farewell tour of the ACC by traveling to Virginia to hear some Hoos. Fortunately for him and the Heels, the Cavalier offense is impotent, even against a young defense like UNC’s. Unfortunately for Davis and the Baby Blues, Carolina never wins in Charlottesville. This time will be no different, as the Chapel Hill contingent will find a new way to lose. Van’s Vanquished, North Carolina.
And that my friends, are the two, count ‘em two, games on the ACC slate that make me want to go to any lengths to describe their outcomes. Here are the rest of the vanquished for the week:
Florida State will vanquish Boston College,
Miami will vanquish Duke,
Georgia Tech will vanquish Middle Tennessee State,
North Carolina State will vanquish East Carolina,
And Virginia Tech will vanquish Wake Forest.
Saturday, October 9, 2010
The Vanquished - Week 6
Here we are in the 6th week of college football and by now the personalities, or lack thereof, of most teams are pretty well formed. That makes picking the losers all the easier and picking the upsets all the harder. But fear not, your trusty forecaster of the oblong spheroid will continue in his appointed to quest to reveal the vanquished.
In the ACC for the first time probably since Miami joined the conference, the league has a marquise matchup of the Hurricanes and the Seminoles. The painted pony riders from Tallahassee will gallop into Coral Gables with gleaming warpaint and sharpened tomahawks. Unfortunately for the Noles, riding bareback means no stirrups to keep ‘em in the saddles, and the gale force wind that is Miami will be blowing pretty hard. Van’s Vanquished, Florida State.
N. C. State’s perfect start came to an end last week and this week they welcome coach Tom O’Brien’s former team, Boston College, to the Fairgrounds west of Raleigh. The air the Eagles have flown the last two weeks has been pretty turbulent, and the atmosphere in eastern North Carolina won’t be the most tranquil. The Carolina Canines have been licking their wounds all week and expect to dine on some Yankee poultry. Van’s Vanquished, Boston College.
In what before the season looked to be at least an interesting contest, the Tigers of Clemson travel Chapel Hill to take on UNC. Dabo Swinney’s crew have yet to beat a team of note, and unfortunately for them “going to Carolina” is not exact a lullaby. The baby bluecoats from the Southern Part of Heaven have a modest little winning streak going, and look for that to continue for the Heels. Van’s Vanquished, Clemson.
The scholars from Mr. Jefferson’s University venture south to face the Ramblin’ Wreck in Atlanta. The Wahoo-was from the Piedmont will have their sabres drawn, but those blades are looking mighty rusty. Even rusty metal will cut throw a butter defense though, and the Yellow Jacket defenders have been churned up a lot so far this year. The Cavalier offense is just anemic enough, though, for the Trade School 3-4ers to stop ‘em. Van’s Vanquished, Virginia.
In other ACC action, Navy will vanquish Wake Forest and Virginia Tech will vanquish Central Michigan.
In the SEC, Alabama continues its march to back to back national championships. Waiting in the weeds in Columbia, South Carolina Saturday will be some fired up feathered opponents. Steve Superior and the Gamecocks will have their beaks primed for poking some Pachyderm hides, but little roosters are no match for big Crimson trunks. Elephant trumpets trump Cock crows, Van’s Vanquished, South Carolina.
The luckiest (or the dumbest) coach in America leads the LSU Tigers into the Swamp in Gainesville where the most uptight coach and his charges await. The Cajun Cats from Louisiana have been using up their nine lives at an alarming rate and Gator-infested waters are not the most ideal element for felines. And unfortunately for the Red Stickers, this week’s opponent can count. Van’s Vanquished, LSU.
There is another undefeated team from the Heart of Dixie besides Alabama and this week that quieter team heads to the Bluegrass of Kentucky. While it will be a Cat versus Cat tilt, Kommonwealth Kitties are no real match for L. A. Tigers. Even if the home team had the speed of its neighbors from Churchill Downs, they couldn’t outrun the Jungle Jivers from Auburn. Van’s Vanquished, Kentucky.
In a battle (that term being used loosely) of two teams to show who wants it least, Tennessee travels to Georgia. These are times when the Athens faithful would be glad to see a Dooley walking their sideline, and this week they get their wish in a way when the Volunteers stroll into town. The Orange and Coonskins from East Tennessee will hope that math is not this week’s test, but it won’t matter. Red Clay beats Blue Tick. Van’s Vanquished, Tennessee.
In the other SEC contests, Arkansas will vanquish Texas A&M, Mississippi State will vanquish Houston and Vanderbilt will vanquish Eastern Michigan.
In the ACC for the first time probably since Miami joined the conference, the league has a marquise matchup of the Hurricanes and the Seminoles. The painted pony riders from Tallahassee will gallop into Coral Gables with gleaming warpaint and sharpened tomahawks. Unfortunately for the Noles, riding bareback means no stirrups to keep ‘em in the saddles, and the gale force wind that is Miami will be blowing pretty hard. Van’s Vanquished, Florida State.
N. C. State’s perfect start came to an end last week and this week they welcome coach Tom O’Brien’s former team, Boston College, to the Fairgrounds west of Raleigh. The air the Eagles have flown the last two weeks has been pretty turbulent, and the atmosphere in eastern North Carolina won’t be the most tranquil. The Carolina Canines have been licking their wounds all week and expect to dine on some Yankee poultry. Van’s Vanquished, Boston College.
In what before the season looked to be at least an interesting contest, the Tigers of Clemson travel Chapel Hill to take on UNC. Dabo Swinney’s crew have yet to beat a team of note, and unfortunately for them “going to Carolina” is not exact a lullaby. The baby bluecoats from the Southern Part of Heaven have a modest little winning streak going, and look for that to continue for the Heels. Van’s Vanquished, Clemson.
The scholars from Mr. Jefferson’s University venture south to face the Ramblin’ Wreck in Atlanta. The Wahoo-was from the Piedmont will have their sabres drawn, but those blades are looking mighty rusty. Even rusty metal will cut throw a butter defense though, and the Yellow Jacket defenders have been churned up a lot so far this year. The Cavalier offense is just anemic enough, though, for the Trade School 3-4ers to stop ‘em. Van’s Vanquished, Virginia.
In other ACC action, Navy will vanquish Wake Forest and Virginia Tech will vanquish Central Michigan.
In the SEC, Alabama continues its march to back to back national championships. Waiting in the weeds in Columbia, South Carolina Saturday will be some fired up feathered opponents. Steve Superior and the Gamecocks will have their beaks primed for poking some Pachyderm hides, but little roosters are no match for big Crimson trunks. Elephant trumpets trump Cock crows, Van’s Vanquished, South Carolina.
The luckiest (or the dumbest) coach in America leads the LSU Tigers into the Swamp in Gainesville where the most uptight coach and his charges await. The Cajun Cats from Louisiana have been using up their nine lives at an alarming rate and Gator-infested waters are not the most ideal element for felines. And unfortunately for the Red Stickers, this week’s opponent can count. Van’s Vanquished, LSU.
There is another undefeated team from the Heart of Dixie besides Alabama and this week that quieter team heads to the Bluegrass of Kentucky. While it will be a Cat versus Cat tilt, Kommonwealth Kitties are no real match for L. A. Tigers. Even if the home team had the speed of its neighbors from Churchill Downs, they couldn’t outrun the Jungle Jivers from Auburn. Van’s Vanquished, Kentucky.
In a battle (that term being used loosely) of two teams to show who wants it least, Tennessee travels to Georgia. These are times when the Athens faithful would be glad to see a Dooley walking their sideline, and this week they get their wish in a way when the Volunteers stroll into town. The Orange and Coonskins from East Tennessee will hope that math is not this week’s test, but it won’t matter. Red Clay beats Blue Tick. Van’s Vanquished, Tennessee.
In the other SEC contests, Arkansas will vanquish Texas A&M, Mississippi State will vanquish Houston and Vanderbilt will vanquish Eastern Michigan.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
The Vanquished - Week 5
Week 5 has most SEC and ACC teams a quarter of the way through their seasons, and the wheat is starting to be separated from the chaff. A little more threshing will take place this Saturday, and some dough made from that wheat will rise, and some will fall. Here are Van’s Vanquished for the week.
Alabama welcomes Florida to Tuscaloosa in an unfamiliar role for the Gators, that of underdog. Urban Meyer’s aquatic carnivores have sharpened their teeth in expectation of taking a bite out of some tough pachyderm hide. Nick Saban’s Red Elephants will be ready though to stomp on some would be chompers, and the Tide’s trunks will get a new swatch of reptilian patterns. Van’s Vanquished, Florida.
The Davy Crocketts of the hills of Tennessee venture to the Bayou to take on LSU. Those coonskin caps better be lead lined though if the Volunteers hope to get back to Knoxville with their heads still on their shoulders. Unfortunately for the orange-clad woodsmen, Tigers are harder to bag than their usual prey. Van’s Vanquished, Tennessee.
The see saw season of Ole Miss continues as the Wildcats of Kentucky invade the Grove. The boys from the Bluegrass are trotting out one of their more consistent teams in a while, and the Rebels themselves are getting pretty predictable. Lose one, win one, lose one, win one … means this week Mississippi should lose one, and so they shall. Van’s Vanquished, Ole Miss.
The Georgia Bulldogs will be looking for a Rocky Mountain high as they go west to Colorado. The Buffs are celebrating their pseudo national championship of 1990 this year, and so far that’s proving to be all they'll be thankful for in 2010. The Classic City Canines may not be like the thin air or the strange time zone, but they’ll still be better than a lumbering set of wooly beasts. Van’s Vanquished, Colorado.
Closing out the SEC slate, Auburn will vanquished Louisiana-Monroe, Mississippi State will vanquish Alcorn State, and Connecticut will vanquish Vanderbilt.
In the ACC Miami and Clemson play their first conference games of the season when the Hurricanes come to the Upstate of South Carolina. Normally a Valley of Death does not provide the right meteorological conditions for the wet weather favored by the Ibises of South Florida. Nevertheless the rainmakers from Coral Gables will supply just enough moisture to muss up some Carolina kitties. Van’s Vanquished, Clemson.
North Carolina State is off to its best start in recent and not so recent memory, and their perfect start will be on the line when Beamer Ball comes to Raleigh. Virginia Tech football has been less than perfect and the Hokies aren’t used to the spoiler roll, especially this early in a season. The Gobblers will flash their talons, but it’ll be feathers and not fur that’s ruffled. The Wolfpack has had a lot to howl at so far and will again Saturday. Van’s Vanquished, Virginia Tech.
Virginia’s swashbucklers ride into Tallahassee to face Florida State. The Natives of North Florida are not known for their hospitality even to their fellow equine enthusiasts and the plume of the Cavalier’s hat will make an inviting prize. In a contest between Sabers and Spears, the flaming weapon usually wins. Van’s Vanquished, Virginia.
Georgia Tech travels to the Old North State to play the school named after the town that they are not in, Wake Forest. The Demon Deacons have so far proved less than possessed when it comes to defense, and the Insects from the Institute will hope to fly early and often down the field. That might be necessary as lately a Yellow Jacket has looked a lot like a matador’s cape. In a dial-a-score matchup, Van’s Vanquished, Wake Forest.
In the other ACC games, Maryland will vanquish Duke, Notre Dame will vanquish Boston College, and UNC will vanquish East Carolina.
Alabama welcomes Florida to Tuscaloosa in an unfamiliar role for the Gators, that of underdog. Urban Meyer’s aquatic carnivores have sharpened their teeth in expectation of taking a bite out of some tough pachyderm hide. Nick Saban’s Red Elephants will be ready though to stomp on some would be chompers, and the Tide’s trunks will get a new swatch of reptilian patterns. Van’s Vanquished, Florida.
The Davy Crocketts of the hills of Tennessee venture to the Bayou to take on LSU. Those coonskin caps better be lead lined though if the Volunteers hope to get back to Knoxville with their heads still on their shoulders. Unfortunately for the orange-clad woodsmen, Tigers are harder to bag than their usual prey. Van’s Vanquished, Tennessee.
The see saw season of Ole Miss continues as the Wildcats of Kentucky invade the Grove. The boys from the Bluegrass are trotting out one of their more consistent teams in a while, and the Rebels themselves are getting pretty predictable. Lose one, win one, lose one, win one … means this week Mississippi should lose one, and so they shall. Van’s Vanquished, Ole Miss.
The Georgia Bulldogs will be looking for a Rocky Mountain high as they go west to Colorado. The Buffs are celebrating their pseudo national championship of 1990 this year, and so far that’s proving to be all they'll be thankful for in 2010. The Classic City Canines may not be like the thin air or the strange time zone, but they’ll still be better than a lumbering set of wooly beasts. Van’s Vanquished, Colorado.
Closing out the SEC slate, Auburn will vanquished Louisiana-Monroe, Mississippi State will vanquish Alcorn State, and Connecticut will vanquish Vanderbilt.
In the ACC Miami and Clemson play their first conference games of the season when the Hurricanes come to the Upstate of South Carolina. Normally a Valley of Death does not provide the right meteorological conditions for the wet weather favored by the Ibises of South Florida. Nevertheless the rainmakers from Coral Gables will supply just enough moisture to muss up some Carolina kitties. Van’s Vanquished, Clemson.
North Carolina State is off to its best start in recent and not so recent memory, and their perfect start will be on the line when Beamer Ball comes to Raleigh. Virginia Tech football has been less than perfect and the Hokies aren’t used to the spoiler roll, especially this early in a season. The Gobblers will flash their talons, but it’ll be feathers and not fur that’s ruffled. The Wolfpack has had a lot to howl at so far and will again Saturday. Van’s Vanquished, Virginia Tech.
Virginia’s swashbucklers ride into Tallahassee to face Florida State. The Natives of North Florida are not known for their hospitality even to their fellow equine enthusiasts and the plume of the Cavalier’s hat will make an inviting prize. In a contest between Sabers and Spears, the flaming weapon usually wins. Van’s Vanquished, Virginia.
Georgia Tech travels to the Old North State to play the school named after the town that they are not in, Wake Forest. The Demon Deacons have so far proved less than possessed when it comes to defense, and the Insects from the Institute will hope to fly early and often down the field. That might be necessary as lately a Yellow Jacket has looked a lot like a matador’s cape. In a dial-a-score matchup, Van’s Vanquished, Wake Forest.
In the other ACC games, Maryland will vanquish Duke, Notre Dame will vanquish Boston College, and UNC will vanquish East Carolina.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
The Vanquished - Week 4
Week 4 of the college football season brings a fuller slate of conference games for both the SEC and ACC. Ol’ Van may be starting to get the knack of how to select the losers amongst the South’s best teams, getting just 3 picks wrong last week. So, without further ado, here are Van’s selections for the soon to be Vanquished of the gridiron.
In the marquis match-up of the week, Nick Saban drives his troop of Red Elephants to the hog pen of Fayetteville. Waiting there with freshly sharpened backs will be the Porcine players of the SEC’s most frequent job hopper, Bobby Petrino. Full throated cries of “Sooey Pig” will ring out in Razorback stadium, but those cries will turn into “Wee, wee” all the way home as the Crimson Tide of Alabama washes away the hoglets of Arkansas. Van’s Vanquished, Arkansas.
The second best SEC game of the week pits on team from the Heart of Dixie versus the school from the state that fired the first shot in the name of Dixie. Steve Superior has once again gotten his Gamecocks off to a good start, but their first real challenge of the year awaits them in Jordan-Hare stadium. The USC Roosters may outnumber the Lone War Eagle, but there will be plenty of feathers ruffled by the group of salivating Tigers. Van’s Vanquished, South Carolina.
In another match up of undefeateds, the Bluegrass Wildcats travel to the Swampland of the Sunshine State. UK football so far has postponed, if only briefly, thoughts of roundball in the Commonwealth. Reality will bite though, in the form of a Gator chomp, and the only growling will be coming from a bunch of orange helmeted reptiles. Van’s Vanquished, Kentucky.
Two sets of bulldogs will bring their slobbering selves to the field in Starkville Saturday when one Ag school plays host to another. Georgia and Mississippi State have more than mascots in common, neither wanting their third conference loss this early in the year. The Maroon Mutts have shown their Cowbell Choir signs of promise, but in the end their clappers will be silent as the Red Clay Hounds from Athens will be the ones barking. Van’s Vanquished, Mississippi State.
In an intersectional (a two-dollar word for “non-conference”) contest, the Musket Totters from Morgantown journey south to Louisiane. The Red Stick Welcome Wagon will roll out to greet the Mountaineers, but the visitors from West By God Virginia will find soon out that there’s a Tiger in that wagon’s tank. By night’s end a cool cat named Mike will be the one wearing a coonskin cap. Van’s Vanquished, West Virginia.
In the other SEC games, Ole Miss will vanquish Fresno State, and Tennessee will vanquish UAB.
In the ACC, old Big East rivals open their conference seasons when BC hosts Virginia Tech. The VPIers will be expecting a wide variety of legumes to choose from in Beantown, but instead will only find hard chestnuts as they scratch the Massachusetts hills. Virginia Turkeys are no match for Golden Eagles when it comes to flying contests, and these Hokies are as flightless as they come. Van’s Vanquished, Virginia Tech.
The ACC’s other former Big East squad plays a current Big Easter Thursday night when Miami meets the Panthers of Pittsburgh. If these were the glory days of Big Steel, the skies over the Ohio River would still be clear of smoke when the Hurricanes blow in. The Keystone State Kittie Kats will be the ones Tropically Depressed by the time the U is through. Van’s Vanquished, Pittsburgh.
The team from the capital of the Old North State travels to the capital of the Empire State of the South Saturday when NC State takes on Georgia Tech in Atlanta. The Wolfpack have plenty to howl about so far this year and will do their best to keep their hindquarters from being stung by a swarm of pesky Yellow Jackets. The Carolina Canines forget though that Paul Johnson teams are less air, and more ground, and they’ll more likely be run over by a Wreck than dive bombed from above. Van’s Vanquished, NC State.
After welcoming one religious group from Utah last week, the Seminoles of Florida State say hello to yet another group of evangelizers when Wake Forest comes to Tallahassee. Proselytizing will have to wait though, as Wake will have to be a little more Demon than Deacon to deal with a group of Native Americans on the warpath. The ride back to Winston-Salem will be a might uncomfortable due to the arrows that will have to be pulled out of Baptist backsides. Van’s Vanquished, Wake Forest.
In other ACC action, UNC will vanquish Rutgers, Maryland will vanquish Florida International, and Virginia will vanquish VMI.
In the marquis match-up of the week, Nick Saban drives his troop of Red Elephants to the hog pen of Fayetteville. Waiting there with freshly sharpened backs will be the Porcine players of the SEC’s most frequent job hopper, Bobby Petrino. Full throated cries of “Sooey Pig” will ring out in Razorback stadium, but those cries will turn into “Wee, wee” all the way home as the Crimson Tide of Alabama washes away the hoglets of Arkansas. Van’s Vanquished, Arkansas.
The second best SEC game of the week pits on team from the Heart of Dixie versus the school from the state that fired the first shot in the name of Dixie. Steve Superior has once again gotten his Gamecocks off to a good start, but their first real challenge of the year awaits them in Jordan-Hare stadium. The USC Roosters may outnumber the Lone War Eagle, but there will be plenty of feathers ruffled by the group of salivating Tigers. Van’s Vanquished, South Carolina.
In another match up of undefeateds, the Bluegrass Wildcats travel to the Swampland of the Sunshine State. UK football so far has postponed, if only briefly, thoughts of roundball in the Commonwealth. Reality will bite though, in the form of a Gator chomp, and the only growling will be coming from a bunch of orange helmeted reptiles. Van’s Vanquished, Kentucky.
Two sets of bulldogs will bring their slobbering selves to the field in Starkville Saturday when one Ag school plays host to another. Georgia and Mississippi State have more than mascots in common, neither wanting their third conference loss this early in the year. The Maroon Mutts have shown their Cowbell Choir signs of promise, but in the end their clappers will be silent as the Red Clay Hounds from Athens will be the ones barking. Van’s Vanquished, Mississippi State.
In an intersectional (a two-dollar word for “non-conference”) contest, the Musket Totters from Morgantown journey south to Louisiane. The Red Stick Welcome Wagon will roll out to greet the Mountaineers, but the visitors from West By God Virginia will find soon out that there’s a Tiger in that wagon’s tank. By night’s end a cool cat named Mike will be the one wearing a coonskin cap. Van’s Vanquished, West Virginia.
In the other SEC games, Ole Miss will vanquish Fresno State, and Tennessee will vanquish UAB.
In the ACC, old Big East rivals open their conference seasons when BC hosts Virginia Tech. The VPIers will be expecting a wide variety of legumes to choose from in Beantown, but instead will only find hard chestnuts as they scratch the Massachusetts hills. Virginia Turkeys are no match for Golden Eagles when it comes to flying contests, and these Hokies are as flightless as they come. Van’s Vanquished, Virginia Tech.
The ACC’s other former Big East squad plays a current Big Easter Thursday night when Miami meets the Panthers of Pittsburgh. If these were the glory days of Big Steel, the skies over the Ohio River would still be clear of smoke when the Hurricanes blow in. The Keystone State Kittie Kats will be the ones Tropically Depressed by the time the U is through. Van’s Vanquished, Pittsburgh.
The team from the capital of the Old North State travels to the capital of the Empire State of the South Saturday when NC State takes on Georgia Tech in Atlanta. The Wolfpack have plenty to howl about so far this year and will do their best to keep their hindquarters from being stung by a swarm of pesky Yellow Jackets. The Carolina Canines forget though that Paul Johnson teams are less air, and more ground, and they’ll more likely be run over by a Wreck than dive bombed from above. Van’s Vanquished, NC State.
After welcoming one religious group from Utah last week, the Seminoles of Florida State say hello to yet another group of evangelizers when Wake Forest comes to Tallahassee. Proselytizing will have to wait though, as Wake will have to be a little more Demon than Deacon to deal with a group of Native Americans on the warpath. The ride back to Winston-Salem will be a might uncomfortable due to the arrows that will have to be pulled out of Baptist backsides. Van’s Vanquished, Wake Forest.
In other ACC action, UNC will vanquish Rutgers, Maryland will vanquish Florida International, and Virginia will vanquish VMI.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
The Vanquished - Week 3
It’s Week 3 of Van’s Vanquished, a list of predicted Losers, rather than Winners, in college football, SEC and ACC style. In last week’s contests I doubt even the great Leonard Postosties would have picked one man, James Madison, to beat the entire Virginia Tech squad. There are no sleepers to cause any nightmare picks this time though, so hopefully ol’ Van will get a few less wrong.
Alabama and Duke have the first of two intersectional SEC-ACC games this week, when the Tide visits the cozy confines of Durham. It’s a shame that a high school stadium is named after a former Bama coach. But even if Wallace Wade was prowling the sidelines himself Duke would still be in for a Devil of a time and the Tuscaloosa faithful will turn Tobacco Road Crimson. Van’s Vanquished, Duke.
The other SEC-ACC match up has Tigers versus Tigers, as the felines from the Upstate of South Carolina travel to L. A. (Lower Alabama) as Clemson visits the cats of Auburn. Clemson’s claws will have to be sharper than the butter knives they’ve used so far this season, as Auburn’s stripes are hard to cut. When this rumble in the jungle is over, Alabama native Dabo Swinney and his orange clad crew will be more than ready to leave the Plains and head for the Piedmont. Van’s Vanquished, Tigers, of Clemson.
Bobby Petrino makes a visit to the state he bolted from for the siren Sooie pig call of Arkansas when the Razorbacks come to Georgia. In Hogs against Dawgs, long sharp teeth and speed come in handy. Unfortunately for Ar-Kansas, the most speed they’ll get will be on the spit, as the fellows from the Athens Academy do love their barbecued pork. Van’s Vanquished, Arkansas.
The Gators of Florida swim up the Tennessee River, to the stadium that Neyland built in Knoxville. There the Swamp Denizens will find a pack of coonhounds nipping at their tails. Nip is all those hounds will do, and any would be Alligator Wrasslers will wish they’d Volunteered for another assignment. Van’s Vanquished, Tennessee.
It’s cats agin’ dogs when the guys from Starkville head west to Baton Rouge. Mississippi’s State’s Bulldogs are some tough critters, but in the eye of the Tigers of LSU they’ll look a lot like puppy dogs. Cowbells will be clangin’ as those Maroon Mutts make a beeline for the border with Bayou Bengals on their tails. Van’s Vanquished, Mississippi State.
Once more into the breach sail the Commodores of Vanderbilt when Ole Miss comes to Nashville. After shooting blanks the first week of the season, the Mississippi Rebels increased their gunnery practice and their aim looks to be true against the Nashvillians. The Vandy flotilla will put up a fight, but in their fleet will like matchsticks on the Cumberland. Van’s Vanquished, Vanderbilt.
Closing the SEC slate, Kentucky will vanquish Akron, and South Carolina will vanquish Furman.
Thursday Night Football comes to Raleigh when NC State entertains Cincinnati. The Big East Bearcats will be looking for some Southern hospitality in the Carolina capital city, but the Wolfpack prowling the fairgrounds off I-40 won’t be rolling out the welcome wagon. The Midwesteners from Ohio won’t have much to meow about while the sodbusters of State howl at the moon. Van’s Vanquished, Cincinnati.
The Ramblin’ Wreck of Georgia Tech rolls onto the campus of America’s first state university to find some well rested Tar Heels waiting for them. The town of Chapel Hill has not always been the kindest place for the guys from the big city of Atlanta, and this time will be no different. Paul Johnson’s swarm of Yellow Jackets will be looking for North Carolina sheep to sting but will blue ram horns hard on their tails. Van’s Vanquished, Georgia Tech.
The young men of Maryland go West, to West Virginia that is, to try and make a Shine raid. Mountaineer muskets will be loaded for terrapin though, and hard shells withstanding, there’s a reason why the “smart” money was on the tortoise. The Charlestown chaps won’t need another Marshall Miracle to outrun the College Parkers. Van’s Vanquished, Maryland.
The Hokies of Blacksburg will still be missing some tail feathers (now in the James Madison bonnet) when the Pirates of East Carolina blow into town. Lofty expectations for Virginia Tech now lie dashed beyond repair, and the crew from Greenville, NC will try to add insult to injury. Tech’s pride may be their only ammunition now, but it should be enough to give ECU a not so Jolly Roger afternoon. Van’s Vanquished, East Carolina.
The Seminoles of Florida State return from the not so happy hunting grounds of Indian Territory to have the Cougars of BYU come to town. The young men from Utah won’t be so mission-minded as they see if they can play dial-a-score against a porous Nole defense. The Tallahassee hosts should have their tommyhawks sharpened though, the Osceola choppers will have plenty to chant about. Van’s Vanquished, Brigham Young.
Meanwhile, Wake Forest travels 3 time zones to play a color, and no, the town isn’t Vegas and the color isn’t black or red. The color is Cardinal, of Stanford, and the town is Palo Alto, or Tall Tree. While colors and trees ain’t the most intimidating opponents ever, the Deacons will be out of time and out of sorts having used up so many of their season-allotted points last week. Van’s Vanquished, Wake.
Alabama and Duke have the first of two intersectional SEC-ACC games this week, when the Tide visits the cozy confines of Durham. It’s a shame that a high school stadium is named after a former Bama coach. But even if Wallace Wade was prowling the sidelines himself Duke would still be in for a Devil of a time and the Tuscaloosa faithful will turn Tobacco Road Crimson. Van’s Vanquished, Duke.
The other SEC-ACC match up has Tigers versus Tigers, as the felines from the Upstate of South Carolina travel to L. A. (Lower Alabama) as Clemson visits the cats of Auburn. Clemson’s claws will have to be sharper than the butter knives they’ve used so far this season, as Auburn’s stripes are hard to cut. When this rumble in the jungle is over, Alabama native Dabo Swinney and his orange clad crew will be more than ready to leave the Plains and head for the Piedmont. Van’s Vanquished, Tigers, of Clemson.
Bobby Petrino makes a visit to the state he bolted from for the siren Sooie pig call of Arkansas when the Razorbacks come to Georgia. In Hogs against Dawgs, long sharp teeth and speed come in handy. Unfortunately for Ar-Kansas, the most speed they’ll get will be on the spit, as the fellows from the Athens Academy do love their barbecued pork. Van’s Vanquished, Arkansas.
The Gators of Florida swim up the Tennessee River, to the stadium that Neyland built in Knoxville. There the Swamp Denizens will find a pack of coonhounds nipping at their tails. Nip is all those hounds will do, and any would be Alligator Wrasslers will wish they’d Volunteered for another assignment. Van’s Vanquished, Tennessee.
It’s cats agin’ dogs when the guys from Starkville head west to Baton Rouge. Mississippi’s State’s Bulldogs are some tough critters, but in the eye of the Tigers of LSU they’ll look a lot like puppy dogs. Cowbells will be clangin’ as those Maroon Mutts make a beeline for the border with Bayou Bengals on their tails. Van’s Vanquished, Mississippi State.
Once more into the breach sail the Commodores of Vanderbilt when Ole Miss comes to Nashville. After shooting blanks the first week of the season, the Mississippi Rebels increased their gunnery practice and their aim looks to be true against the Nashvillians. The Vandy flotilla will put up a fight, but in their fleet will like matchsticks on the Cumberland. Van’s Vanquished, Vanderbilt.
Closing the SEC slate, Kentucky will vanquish Akron, and South Carolina will vanquish Furman.
Thursday Night Football comes to Raleigh when NC State entertains Cincinnati. The Big East Bearcats will be looking for some Southern hospitality in the Carolina capital city, but the Wolfpack prowling the fairgrounds off I-40 won’t be rolling out the welcome wagon. The Midwesteners from Ohio won’t have much to meow about while the sodbusters of State howl at the moon. Van’s Vanquished, Cincinnati.
The Ramblin’ Wreck of Georgia Tech rolls onto the campus of America’s first state university to find some well rested Tar Heels waiting for them. The town of Chapel Hill has not always been the kindest place for the guys from the big city of Atlanta, and this time will be no different. Paul Johnson’s swarm of Yellow Jackets will be looking for North Carolina sheep to sting but will blue ram horns hard on their tails. Van’s Vanquished, Georgia Tech.
The young men of Maryland go West, to West Virginia that is, to try and make a Shine raid. Mountaineer muskets will be loaded for terrapin though, and hard shells withstanding, there’s a reason why the “smart” money was on the tortoise. The Charlestown chaps won’t need another Marshall Miracle to outrun the College Parkers. Van’s Vanquished, Maryland.
The Hokies of Blacksburg will still be missing some tail feathers (now in the James Madison bonnet) when the Pirates of East Carolina blow into town. Lofty expectations for Virginia Tech now lie dashed beyond repair, and the crew from Greenville, NC will try to add insult to injury. Tech’s pride may be their only ammunition now, but it should be enough to give ECU a not so Jolly Roger afternoon. Van’s Vanquished, East Carolina.
The Seminoles of Florida State return from the not so happy hunting grounds of Indian Territory to have the Cougars of BYU come to town. The young men from Utah won’t be so mission-minded as they see if they can play dial-a-score against a porous Nole defense. The Tallahassee hosts should have their tommyhawks sharpened though, the Osceola choppers will have plenty to chant about. Van’s Vanquished, Brigham Young.
Meanwhile, Wake Forest travels 3 time zones to play a color, and no, the town isn’t Vegas and the color isn’t black or red. The color is Cardinal, of Stanford, and the town is Palo Alto, or Tall Tree. While colors and trees ain’t the most intimidating opponents ever, the Deacons will be out of time and out of sorts having used up so many of their season-allotted points last week. Van’s Vanquished, Wake.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
The Vanquished - Week 2
Welcome to Week 2 of Van’s Vanquished, one fellow’s salute to the legacy of Leonard Postosties and his predictions of the losers rather than the winners each week in college football.
Ol’ Van could have used a double dose of Leonard’s Smart Pills last week, as he went out on a limb or two too many (not to mention plum forgetting one game altogether), and ended up going 17 and 6, in what should have been a much easier week. The weeks won’t get any easier here on out.
The Plainsmen of Auburn leave their little Village and head for the bright lights of StarkVegas Thursday night. There they'll find the Bulldogs of Mississippi State licking their chops hoping to get their canines on some East Alabama felines. Cats can be wily and usually hard to herd though, but the Cowbellers of MSU will have just enough sheep dog in them. Van’s Vanquished, Auburn.
A living legend brings his white clad Nittanies to Tuscaloosa Saturday to face the defending national champs of Alabama. JoePa may not like what he sees through those thick glasses of his as the Keystone State Lions turn into ‘fraidy cats, at the prospect of being doused by a Crimson Tide. The roar coming from Bryant-Denny won’t be that of a relative of the king of the jungle, but will be coming from a long gray trunk instead. Van’s Vanquished, Penn State.
Steve Spurrier and the Gamecocks play host to Georgia, and the Dawgs will do their best imitation of an unwanted fox in a hen house. Of course, Roosters don’t lay eggs, and so the Mutts from Athens may be disappointed. But before the USC Birds go to crow, they will discover that Bulldogs do have a taste for poultry. Van’s Vanquished, South Carolina.
The Nashville Navy of Vanderbilt stays in its home port for an early evening tilt with LSU. The ship of state that is Vandy football has already sprung a leak though, and the Cumberlanders will be bailing as fast as they can empty buckets. Meanwhile the Bayou Bengals will have a Cheshire grin on their faces ready to pounce on any Commodores that don’t go down with the ship. Van’s Vanquished, Vanderbilt.
Mississippi plays a former SEC rival Tulane in the Crescent City, while still plucking Jacksonville talons out of their hide. The Rebels of Ole Miss will be yelling and ready to hold back the Emerald tide of Two-lane and the Superdome won’t be such a Super home for the boys from New Orleans. Van’s Vanquished, Tulane.
The Mighty Ducks of Oregon will make the cross country flight to the hills of Tennessee Saturday night, where the checkerboard end zones look inviting. The Pac-10 visitors will find the Knoxville landing strip to be a bit Rocky though, and can only hope not to Quack up. Blue-tick hounds might not make great waterfowl dogs, but they won’t have to this night. Van’s Vanquished, Oregon.
In other SEC action,
The Bulls of South Florida will be vanquished by the Gators of all of Florida,
Western Kentucky will be the ones “hill” topped, vanquished by the University of Kentucky, and
Louisiana-Monroe will be vanquished by Arkansas.
In the ACC, the 2 Florida schools hit the road for marquis matchups against national powers.
In Big Ten country, the U of Miami goes to the Shoe of the Ohio State University. The denizens of Coral Gables hope to use this game as a showcase of their return to prominence, but such touting may be premature. The poison nuts that are Buckeyes have a little known use, cloud-seeding Hurricanes, and the skies over Columbus will remain calm. Van’s Vanquished, Miami.
Meanwhile, the Seminole tribe of Florida State hits the trail to what was once Indian Territory. Chief Osceola and his warriors will do their best to raid the Sooner Scooner wagon train, but all the whooping won’t do much against the Boomers. Oklahoma will be doing fine by the end of the night, with nary an arrow to pull out or a scalp out of place. Van’s Vanquished, FSU.
The two most fiendish (in mascots only) schools in the conference meet in the Tobacco Bowl on Saturday, when the Blue Devils visit the Demon Deacons. Year Two of the Cutcliffe regime at Duke started well last week, but time brings a more “formidable” foe this week in Wake Forest. No matter how weak the boys from the cigarette capital are though, the Methodists from old Trinity College will be no “match” for the Baptists of Winston. Van’s Vanquished, Duke.
Georgia Tech goes to the land of Dorothy and Toto when they travel to Kansas. The Jayhawks of the Big Twelve are better known as a basketball school, for good reason, and not just because the inventor of the game coached there. There should be no tornados to interrupt the flight path of the Yellow Jackets. Van’s Vanquished, Kansas.
In the first game of the Mike London era, the Wahoos beat their coach’s former school. There’s a tougher bridge to cross this week though when the Cavaliers ride into the Coliseum in Los Angeles to face Southern California. The equine representatives of both teams may be evenly matched, but the weaponry of their riders are not. Broad swords over sabres, Van’s Vanquished, Virginia.
Rounding out the ACC slate,
Kent State will be vanquished by Boston College,
NC State will be vanquished by Central Florida, and
In three in-state “clashes”,
Presbyterian will be vanquished by Clemson,
Morgan State will be vanquished by Maryland, and
James Madison will be vanquished by Virginia Tech.
Ol’ Van could have used a double dose of Leonard’s Smart Pills last week, as he went out on a limb or two too many (not to mention plum forgetting one game altogether), and ended up going 17 and 6, in what should have been a much easier week. The weeks won’t get any easier here on out.
The Plainsmen of Auburn leave their little Village and head for the bright lights of StarkVegas Thursday night. There they'll find the Bulldogs of Mississippi State licking their chops hoping to get their canines on some East Alabama felines. Cats can be wily and usually hard to herd though, but the Cowbellers of MSU will have just enough sheep dog in them. Van’s Vanquished, Auburn.
A living legend brings his white clad Nittanies to Tuscaloosa Saturday to face the defending national champs of Alabama. JoePa may not like what he sees through those thick glasses of his as the Keystone State Lions turn into ‘fraidy cats, at the prospect of being doused by a Crimson Tide. The roar coming from Bryant-Denny won’t be that of a relative of the king of the jungle, but will be coming from a long gray trunk instead. Van’s Vanquished, Penn State.
Steve Spurrier and the Gamecocks play host to Georgia, and the Dawgs will do their best imitation of an unwanted fox in a hen house. Of course, Roosters don’t lay eggs, and so the Mutts from Athens may be disappointed. But before the USC Birds go to crow, they will discover that Bulldogs do have a taste for poultry. Van’s Vanquished, South Carolina.
The Nashville Navy of Vanderbilt stays in its home port for an early evening tilt with LSU. The ship of state that is Vandy football has already sprung a leak though, and the Cumberlanders will be bailing as fast as they can empty buckets. Meanwhile the Bayou Bengals will have a Cheshire grin on their faces ready to pounce on any Commodores that don’t go down with the ship. Van’s Vanquished, Vanderbilt.
Mississippi plays a former SEC rival Tulane in the Crescent City, while still plucking Jacksonville talons out of their hide. The Rebels of Ole Miss will be yelling and ready to hold back the Emerald tide of Two-lane and the Superdome won’t be such a Super home for the boys from New Orleans. Van’s Vanquished, Tulane.
The Mighty Ducks of Oregon will make the cross country flight to the hills of Tennessee Saturday night, where the checkerboard end zones look inviting. The Pac-10 visitors will find the Knoxville landing strip to be a bit Rocky though, and can only hope not to Quack up. Blue-tick hounds might not make great waterfowl dogs, but they won’t have to this night. Van’s Vanquished, Oregon.
In other SEC action,
The Bulls of South Florida will be vanquished by the Gators of all of Florida,
Western Kentucky will be the ones “hill” topped, vanquished by the University of Kentucky, and
Louisiana-Monroe will be vanquished by Arkansas.
In the ACC, the 2 Florida schools hit the road for marquis matchups against national powers.
In Big Ten country, the U of Miami goes to the Shoe of the Ohio State University. The denizens of Coral Gables hope to use this game as a showcase of their return to prominence, but such touting may be premature. The poison nuts that are Buckeyes have a little known use, cloud-seeding Hurricanes, and the skies over Columbus will remain calm. Van’s Vanquished, Miami.
Meanwhile, the Seminole tribe of Florida State hits the trail to what was once Indian Territory. Chief Osceola and his warriors will do their best to raid the Sooner Scooner wagon train, but all the whooping won’t do much against the Boomers. Oklahoma will be doing fine by the end of the night, with nary an arrow to pull out or a scalp out of place. Van’s Vanquished, FSU.
The two most fiendish (in mascots only) schools in the conference meet in the Tobacco Bowl on Saturday, when the Blue Devils visit the Demon Deacons. Year Two of the Cutcliffe regime at Duke started well last week, but time brings a more “formidable” foe this week in Wake Forest. No matter how weak the boys from the cigarette capital are though, the Methodists from old Trinity College will be no “match” for the Baptists of Winston. Van’s Vanquished, Duke.
Georgia Tech goes to the land of Dorothy and Toto when they travel to Kansas. The Jayhawks of the Big Twelve are better known as a basketball school, for good reason, and not just because the inventor of the game coached there. There should be no tornados to interrupt the flight path of the Yellow Jackets. Van’s Vanquished, Kansas.
In the first game of the Mike London era, the Wahoos beat their coach’s former school. There’s a tougher bridge to cross this week though when the Cavaliers ride into the Coliseum in Los Angeles to face Southern California. The equine representatives of both teams may be evenly matched, but the weaponry of their riders are not. Broad swords over sabres, Van’s Vanquished, Virginia.
Rounding out the ACC slate,
Kent State will be vanquished by Boston College,
NC State will be vanquished by Central Florida, and
In three in-state “clashes”,
Presbyterian will be vanquished by Clemson,
Morgan State will be vanquished by Maryland, and
James Madison will be vanquished by Virginia Tech.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
The Vanquished - Week 1
In tribute to a dearly departed, but not forgotten, pigskin prognosticator, Leonard Postosties, here is one man’s picks of the Losers in this week’s gridiron tussles in the SEC and the ACC. Unfortunately your humble servant, Van Vanwinkle, has no Smart Pill to help him in his predictions or predilections, nor is Percy Peabody standing by to keep him out of trouble. Nevertheless, without further a-do, here are Van’s Vanquished for the first week of college football, 2010.
Les Miles brings his Bayou Bengals to the Georgia Dome Saturday to meet Butch Davis and his cast of Heels from North Carolina. The tar on those Heels won’t help ‘em this time though, as Mike the Tiger and the rest of the LSU felines will be chasing the Baby Blue Ewes out of the building. It’ll be Home Sweet Dome for the Red Stickers, Van’s Vanquished, UNC.
The Garnet and Black Roosters of South Carolina play host to ESPN (and Jenn Brown) on a Thursday night. And oh, Southern Mississippi is their opponent. A lot of feathers will be flying when the Golden Eagles of USM try to swoop down and snatch the Ol’ Ball Coach’s visor, but their wings will be clipped. The Cocks won’t bring much Game, but they won’t have to. Van’s Vanquishes, Southern Miss.
In the Battle of the Bluegrass State, Kentucky is the only SEC team dumb enough, uh, that is, schedule challenged to open its season on the road, playing in the pizza stadium that is home to the Redbirds of Lou-a-vul. New bosses for both the Lexington Lionettes and the Cardinals may make this game interesting, that is to say, boring, but in the end, being the home team is worth 6 slices, uh, points. Van’s Vanquished, Kentucky.
Vandy will play its bowl game at the beginning of the year (it sure won’t play one at the end), when Northwestern comes to town for the SAT Bowl. Normally the Nashville Navy should have little to fear from a bunch of Mildcats from Chicago, but these Purple Kitties only get mad when wet. The Commodores will be watching the smart guys from the Big Ten (or is it Twelve) “Sail On” down the Cumberland River. Van’s Vanquished, Vanderbilt.
In other SEC games:
San Jose State will be vanquished by Alabama.
Tennessee Tech will be vanquished by Arkansas.
Arkansas State will be vanquished by Auburn.
Miami of Ohio will be vanquished by Florida.
Louisiana Lafayette will be vanquished by Georgia.
Jacksonville State will be vanquished by Ole Miss.
Memphis will be vanquished by Mississippi State.
And UT – Martin will be vanquished by Tennessee.
In the ACC, its one true national contender brings Beamer Ball to the nation’s capital on Monday against the Broncos of Boise, State. The boys from the Smurf Turf land will be out to prove that the WAC ain’t whack, while the fellows from Virginia Poly will shake more than their Hokie tailfeathers trying to stop the Idahoans. Dreams of BCS busting will be just that though, as the Gobblers from Tech won’t be fooled by equine trickeration. Van’s Vanquished, Boise State.
Also on Monday the Terrapins of Mary-land will stare down the barrel of the gunboats of the U. S. Naval Academy’s football fleet. The hard shells of Ralph Friedgen’s red and black reptiles should help them fend off the salvos of the Midshipmen. But unfortunately for Maryland, Navy football is a more like a Marine amphibious landing than a carrier attack, and will fear no turtles. No goats to be had this day, Van’s Vanquished, Maryland.
The Southern Conference, the forerunner of both the ACC and the SEC, sends 3 teams to collect a check from their ACC foes.
In the Cats versus Dogs matchup, the Catamounts of Western Carolina will be vanquished by the Wolfpack of N. C. State.
In the game between two teams Bobby Bowden used to coach, the Bulldogs of Samford will be vanquished by Chief Osceola and his band of Seminoles of Florida State.
In the Rose Bowl East, the formerly Fighting Christians of Elon clash with the Methodists of Durham. In an upset (well the upset will be on the part of David Cutcliffe), the Blue Devils of Duke will be vanquished by the risen Phoenix of Elon.
In another battle of Biblical proportions, the Blue Hose of Presbyterian College take on the Baptists of Winston-Salem, but the Good will die young as PC will be vanquished by the Demon Deacons.
Rounding out the ACC slate:
Weber State will be vanquished by Boston College.
North Texas will be vanquished by Clemson.
South Carolina State will be vanquished by Georgia Tech.
And in a bonus upset, the Wahoos of Virginia will be feeling less Cavalier and more Spider-Bit, after being vanquished by Richmond.
Les Miles brings his Bayou Bengals to the Georgia Dome Saturday to meet Butch Davis and his cast of Heels from North Carolina. The tar on those Heels won’t help ‘em this time though, as Mike the Tiger and the rest of the LSU felines will be chasing the Baby Blue Ewes out of the building. It’ll be Home Sweet Dome for the Red Stickers, Van’s Vanquished, UNC.
The Garnet and Black Roosters of South Carolina play host to ESPN (and Jenn Brown) on a Thursday night. And oh, Southern Mississippi is their opponent. A lot of feathers will be flying when the Golden Eagles of USM try to swoop down and snatch the Ol’ Ball Coach’s visor, but their wings will be clipped. The Cocks won’t bring much Game, but they won’t have to. Van’s Vanquishes, Southern Miss.
In the Battle of the Bluegrass State, Kentucky is the only SEC team dumb enough, uh, that is, schedule challenged to open its season on the road, playing in the pizza stadium that is home to the Redbirds of Lou-a-vul. New bosses for both the Lexington Lionettes and the Cardinals may make this game interesting, that is to say, boring, but in the end, being the home team is worth 6 slices, uh, points. Van’s Vanquished, Kentucky.
Vandy will play its bowl game at the beginning of the year (it sure won’t play one at the end), when Northwestern comes to town for the SAT Bowl. Normally the Nashville Navy should have little to fear from a bunch of Mildcats from Chicago, but these Purple Kitties only get mad when wet. The Commodores will be watching the smart guys from the Big Ten (or is it Twelve) “Sail On” down the Cumberland River. Van’s Vanquished, Vanderbilt.
In other SEC games:
San Jose State will be vanquished by Alabama.
Tennessee Tech will be vanquished by Arkansas.
Arkansas State will be vanquished by Auburn.
Miami of Ohio will be vanquished by Florida.
Louisiana Lafayette will be vanquished by Georgia.
Jacksonville State will be vanquished by Ole Miss.
Memphis will be vanquished by Mississippi State.
And UT – Martin will be vanquished by Tennessee.
In the ACC, its one true national contender brings Beamer Ball to the nation’s capital on Monday against the Broncos of Boise, State. The boys from the Smurf Turf land will be out to prove that the WAC ain’t whack, while the fellows from Virginia Poly will shake more than their Hokie tailfeathers trying to stop the Idahoans. Dreams of BCS busting will be just that though, as the Gobblers from Tech won’t be fooled by equine trickeration. Van’s Vanquished, Boise State.
Also on Monday the Terrapins of Mary-land will stare down the barrel of the gunboats of the U. S. Naval Academy’s football fleet. The hard shells of Ralph Friedgen’s red and black reptiles should help them fend off the salvos of the Midshipmen. But unfortunately for Maryland, Navy football is a more like a Marine amphibious landing than a carrier attack, and will fear no turtles. No goats to be had this day, Van’s Vanquished, Maryland.
The Southern Conference, the forerunner of both the ACC and the SEC, sends 3 teams to collect a check from their ACC foes.
In the Cats versus Dogs matchup, the Catamounts of Western Carolina will be vanquished by the Wolfpack of N. C. State.
In the game between two teams Bobby Bowden used to coach, the Bulldogs of Samford will be vanquished by Chief Osceola and his band of Seminoles of Florida State.
In the Rose Bowl East, the formerly Fighting Christians of Elon clash with the Methodists of Durham. In an upset (well the upset will be on the part of David Cutcliffe), the Blue Devils of Duke will be vanquished by the risen Phoenix of Elon.
In another battle of Biblical proportions, the Blue Hose of Presbyterian College take on the Baptists of Winston-Salem, but the Good will die young as PC will be vanquished by the Demon Deacons.
Rounding out the ACC slate:
Weber State will be vanquished by Boston College.
North Texas will be vanquished by Clemson.
South Carolina State will be vanquished by Georgia Tech.
And in a bonus upset, the Wahoos of Virginia will be feeling less Cavalier and more Spider-Bit, after being vanquished by Richmond.
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