Week 4 of the college football season brings a fuller slate of conference games for both the SEC and ACC. Ol’ Van may be starting to get the knack of how to select the losers amongst the South’s best teams, getting just 3 picks wrong last week. So, without further ado, here are Van’s selections for the soon to be Vanquished of the gridiron.
In the marquis match-up of the week, Nick Saban drives his troop of Red Elephants to the hog pen of Fayetteville. Waiting there with freshly sharpened backs will be the Porcine players of the SEC’s most frequent job hopper, Bobby Petrino. Full throated cries of “Sooey Pig” will ring out in Razorback stadium, but those cries will turn into “Wee, wee” all the way home as the Crimson Tide of Alabama washes away the hoglets of Arkansas. Van’s Vanquished, Arkansas.
The second best SEC game of the week pits on team from the Heart of Dixie versus the school from the state that fired the first shot in the name of Dixie. Steve Superior has once again gotten his Gamecocks off to a good start, but their first real challenge of the year awaits them in Jordan-Hare stadium. The USC Roosters may outnumber the Lone War Eagle, but there will be plenty of feathers ruffled by the group of salivating Tigers. Van’s Vanquished, South Carolina.
In another match up of undefeateds, the Bluegrass Wildcats travel to the Swampland of the Sunshine State. UK football so far has postponed, if only briefly, thoughts of roundball in the Commonwealth. Reality will bite though, in the form of a Gator chomp, and the only growling will be coming from a bunch of orange helmeted reptiles. Van’s Vanquished, Kentucky.
Two sets of bulldogs will bring their slobbering selves to the field in Starkville Saturday when one Ag school plays host to another. Georgia and Mississippi State have more than mascots in common, neither wanting their third conference loss this early in the year. The Maroon Mutts have shown their Cowbell Choir signs of promise, but in the end their clappers will be silent as the Red Clay Hounds from Athens will be the ones barking. Van’s Vanquished, Mississippi State.
In an intersectional (a two-dollar word for “non-conference”) contest, the Musket Totters from Morgantown journey south to Louisiane. The Red Stick Welcome Wagon will roll out to greet the Mountaineers, but the visitors from West By God Virginia will find soon out that there’s a Tiger in that wagon’s tank. By night’s end a cool cat named Mike will be the one wearing a coonskin cap. Van’s Vanquished, West Virginia.
In the other SEC games, Ole Miss will vanquish Fresno State, and Tennessee will vanquish UAB.
In the ACC, old Big East rivals open their conference seasons when BC hosts Virginia Tech. The VPIers will be expecting a wide variety of legumes to choose from in Beantown, but instead will only find hard chestnuts as they scratch the Massachusetts hills. Virginia Turkeys are no match for Golden Eagles when it comes to flying contests, and these Hokies are as flightless as they come. Van’s Vanquished, Virginia Tech.
The ACC’s other former Big East squad plays a current Big Easter Thursday night when Miami meets the Panthers of Pittsburgh. If these were the glory days of Big Steel, the skies over the Ohio River would still be clear of smoke when the Hurricanes blow in. The Keystone State Kittie Kats will be the ones Tropically Depressed by the time the U is through. Van’s Vanquished, Pittsburgh.
The team from the capital of the Old North State travels to the capital of the Empire State of the South Saturday when NC State takes on Georgia Tech in Atlanta. The Wolfpack have plenty to howl about so far this year and will do their best to keep their hindquarters from being stung by a swarm of pesky Yellow Jackets. The Carolina Canines forget though that Paul Johnson teams are less air, and more ground, and they’ll more likely be run over by a Wreck than dive bombed from above. Van’s Vanquished, NC State.
After welcoming one religious group from Utah last week, the Seminoles of Florida State say hello to yet another group of evangelizers when Wake Forest comes to Tallahassee. Proselytizing will have to wait though, as Wake will have to be a little more Demon than Deacon to deal with a group of Native Americans on the warpath. The ride back to Winston-Salem will be a might uncomfortable due to the arrows that will have to be pulled out of Baptist backsides. Van’s Vanquished, Wake Forest.
In other ACC action, UNC will vanquish Rutgers, Maryland will vanquish Florida International, and Virginia will vanquish VMI.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
The Vanquished - Week 3
It’s Week 3 of Van’s Vanquished, a list of predicted Losers, rather than Winners, in college football, SEC and ACC style. In last week’s contests I doubt even the great Leonard Postosties would have picked one man, James Madison, to beat the entire Virginia Tech squad. There are no sleepers to cause any nightmare picks this time though, so hopefully ol’ Van will get a few less wrong.
Alabama and Duke have the first of two intersectional SEC-ACC games this week, when the Tide visits the cozy confines of Durham. It’s a shame that a high school stadium is named after a former Bama coach. But even if Wallace Wade was prowling the sidelines himself Duke would still be in for a Devil of a time and the Tuscaloosa faithful will turn Tobacco Road Crimson. Van’s Vanquished, Duke.
The other SEC-ACC match up has Tigers versus Tigers, as the felines from the Upstate of South Carolina travel to L. A. (Lower Alabama) as Clemson visits the cats of Auburn. Clemson’s claws will have to be sharper than the butter knives they’ve used so far this season, as Auburn’s stripes are hard to cut. When this rumble in the jungle is over, Alabama native Dabo Swinney and his orange clad crew will be more than ready to leave the Plains and head for the Piedmont. Van’s Vanquished, Tigers, of Clemson.
Bobby Petrino makes a visit to the state he bolted from for the siren Sooie pig call of Arkansas when the Razorbacks come to Georgia. In Hogs against Dawgs, long sharp teeth and speed come in handy. Unfortunately for Ar-Kansas, the most speed they’ll get will be on the spit, as the fellows from the Athens Academy do love their barbecued pork. Van’s Vanquished, Arkansas.
The Gators of Florida swim up the Tennessee River, to the stadium that Neyland built in Knoxville. There the Swamp Denizens will find a pack of coonhounds nipping at their tails. Nip is all those hounds will do, and any would be Alligator Wrasslers will wish they’d Volunteered for another assignment. Van’s Vanquished, Tennessee.
It’s cats agin’ dogs when the guys from Starkville head west to Baton Rouge. Mississippi’s State’s Bulldogs are some tough critters, but in the eye of the Tigers of LSU they’ll look a lot like puppy dogs. Cowbells will be clangin’ as those Maroon Mutts make a beeline for the border with Bayou Bengals on their tails. Van’s Vanquished, Mississippi State.
Once more into the breach sail the Commodores of Vanderbilt when Ole Miss comes to Nashville. After shooting blanks the first week of the season, the Mississippi Rebels increased their gunnery practice and their aim looks to be true against the Nashvillians. The Vandy flotilla will put up a fight, but in their fleet will like matchsticks on the Cumberland. Van’s Vanquished, Vanderbilt.
Closing the SEC slate, Kentucky will vanquish Akron, and South Carolina will vanquish Furman.
Thursday Night Football comes to Raleigh when NC State entertains Cincinnati. The Big East Bearcats will be looking for some Southern hospitality in the Carolina capital city, but the Wolfpack prowling the fairgrounds off I-40 won’t be rolling out the welcome wagon. The Midwesteners from Ohio won’t have much to meow about while the sodbusters of State howl at the moon. Van’s Vanquished, Cincinnati.
The Ramblin’ Wreck of Georgia Tech rolls onto the campus of America’s first state university to find some well rested Tar Heels waiting for them. The town of Chapel Hill has not always been the kindest place for the guys from the big city of Atlanta, and this time will be no different. Paul Johnson’s swarm of Yellow Jackets will be looking for North Carolina sheep to sting but will blue ram horns hard on their tails. Van’s Vanquished, Georgia Tech.
The young men of Maryland go West, to West Virginia that is, to try and make a Shine raid. Mountaineer muskets will be loaded for terrapin though, and hard shells withstanding, there’s a reason why the “smart” money was on the tortoise. The Charlestown chaps won’t need another Marshall Miracle to outrun the College Parkers. Van’s Vanquished, Maryland.
The Hokies of Blacksburg will still be missing some tail feathers (now in the James Madison bonnet) when the Pirates of East Carolina blow into town. Lofty expectations for Virginia Tech now lie dashed beyond repair, and the crew from Greenville, NC will try to add insult to injury. Tech’s pride may be their only ammunition now, but it should be enough to give ECU a not so Jolly Roger afternoon. Van’s Vanquished, East Carolina.
The Seminoles of Florida State return from the not so happy hunting grounds of Indian Territory to have the Cougars of BYU come to town. The young men from Utah won’t be so mission-minded as they see if they can play dial-a-score against a porous Nole defense. The Tallahassee hosts should have their tommyhawks sharpened though, the Osceola choppers will have plenty to chant about. Van’s Vanquished, Brigham Young.
Meanwhile, Wake Forest travels 3 time zones to play a color, and no, the town isn’t Vegas and the color isn’t black or red. The color is Cardinal, of Stanford, and the town is Palo Alto, or Tall Tree. While colors and trees ain’t the most intimidating opponents ever, the Deacons will be out of time and out of sorts having used up so many of their season-allotted points last week. Van’s Vanquished, Wake.
Alabama and Duke have the first of two intersectional SEC-ACC games this week, when the Tide visits the cozy confines of Durham. It’s a shame that a high school stadium is named after a former Bama coach. But even if Wallace Wade was prowling the sidelines himself Duke would still be in for a Devil of a time and the Tuscaloosa faithful will turn Tobacco Road Crimson. Van’s Vanquished, Duke.
The other SEC-ACC match up has Tigers versus Tigers, as the felines from the Upstate of South Carolina travel to L. A. (Lower Alabama) as Clemson visits the cats of Auburn. Clemson’s claws will have to be sharper than the butter knives they’ve used so far this season, as Auburn’s stripes are hard to cut. When this rumble in the jungle is over, Alabama native Dabo Swinney and his orange clad crew will be more than ready to leave the Plains and head for the Piedmont. Van’s Vanquished, Tigers, of Clemson.
Bobby Petrino makes a visit to the state he bolted from for the siren Sooie pig call of Arkansas when the Razorbacks come to Georgia. In Hogs against Dawgs, long sharp teeth and speed come in handy. Unfortunately for Ar-Kansas, the most speed they’ll get will be on the spit, as the fellows from the Athens Academy do love their barbecued pork. Van’s Vanquished, Arkansas.
The Gators of Florida swim up the Tennessee River, to the stadium that Neyland built in Knoxville. There the Swamp Denizens will find a pack of coonhounds nipping at their tails. Nip is all those hounds will do, and any would be Alligator Wrasslers will wish they’d Volunteered for another assignment. Van’s Vanquished, Tennessee.
It’s cats agin’ dogs when the guys from Starkville head west to Baton Rouge. Mississippi’s State’s Bulldogs are some tough critters, but in the eye of the Tigers of LSU they’ll look a lot like puppy dogs. Cowbells will be clangin’ as those Maroon Mutts make a beeline for the border with Bayou Bengals on their tails. Van’s Vanquished, Mississippi State.
Once more into the breach sail the Commodores of Vanderbilt when Ole Miss comes to Nashville. After shooting blanks the first week of the season, the Mississippi Rebels increased their gunnery practice and their aim looks to be true against the Nashvillians. The Vandy flotilla will put up a fight, but in their fleet will like matchsticks on the Cumberland. Van’s Vanquished, Vanderbilt.
Closing the SEC slate, Kentucky will vanquish Akron, and South Carolina will vanquish Furman.
Thursday Night Football comes to Raleigh when NC State entertains Cincinnati. The Big East Bearcats will be looking for some Southern hospitality in the Carolina capital city, but the Wolfpack prowling the fairgrounds off I-40 won’t be rolling out the welcome wagon. The Midwesteners from Ohio won’t have much to meow about while the sodbusters of State howl at the moon. Van’s Vanquished, Cincinnati.
The Ramblin’ Wreck of Georgia Tech rolls onto the campus of America’s first state university to find some well rested Tar Heels waiting for them. The town of Chapel Hill has not always been the kindest place for the guys from the big city of Atlanta, and this time will be no different. Paul Johnson’s swarm of Yellow Jackets will be looking for North Carolina sheep to sting but will blue ram horns hard on their tails. Van’s Vanquished, Georgia Tech.
The young men of Maryland go West, to West Virginia that is, to try and make a Shine raid. Mountaineer muskets will be loaded for terrapin though, and hard shells withstanding, there’s a reason why the “smart” money was on the tortoise. The Charlestown chaps won’t need another Marshall Miracle to outrun the College Parkers. Van’s Vanquished, Maryland.
The Hokies of Blacksburg will still be missing some tail feathers (now in the James Madison bonnet) when the Pirates of East Carolina blow into town. Lofty expectations for Virginia Tech now lie dashed beyond repair, and the crew from Greenville, NC will try to add insult to injury. Tech’s pride may be their only ammunition now, but it should be enough to give ECU a not so Jolly Roger afternoon. Van’s Vanquished, East Carolina.
The Seminoles of Florida State return from the not so happy hunting grounds of Indian Territory to have the Cougars of BYU come to town. The young men from Utah won’t be so mission-minded as they see if they can play dial-a-score against a porous Nole defense. The Tallahassee hosts should have their tommyhawks sharpened though, the Osceola choppers will have plenty to chant about. Van’s Vanquished, Brigham Young.
Meanwhile, Wake Forest travels 3 time zones to play a color, and no, the town isn’t Vegas and the color isn’t black or red. The color is Cardinal, of Stanford, and the town is Palo Alto, or Tall Tree. While colors and trees ain’t the most intimidating opponents ever, the Deacons will be out of time and out of sorts having used up so many of their season-allotted points last week. Van’s Vanquished, Wake.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
The Vanquished - Week 2
Welcome to Week 2 of Van’s Vanquished, one fellow’s salute to the legacy of Leonard Postosties and his predictions of the losers rather than the winners each week in college football.
Ol’ Van could have used a double dose of Leonard’s Smart Pills last week, as he went out on a limb or two too many (not to mention plum forgetting one game altogether), and ended up going 17 and 6, in what should have been a much easier week. The weeks won’t get any easier here on out.
The Plainsmen of Auburn leave their little Village and head for the bright lights of StarkVegas Thursday night. There they'll find the Bulldogs of Mississippi State licking their chops hoping to get their canines on some East Alabama felines. Cats can be wily and usually hard to herd though, but the Cowbellers of MSU will have just enough sheep dog in them. Van’s Vanquished, Auburn.
A living legend brings his white clad Nittanies to Tuscaloosa Saturday to face the defending national champs of Alabama. JoePa may not like what he sees through those thick glasses of his as the Keystone State Lions turn into ‘fraidy cats, at the prospect of being doused by a Crimson Tide. The roar coming from Bryant-Denny won’t be that of a relative of the king of the jungle, but will be coming from a long gray trunk instead. Van’s Vanquished, Penn State.
Steve Spurrier and the Gamecocks play host to Georgia, and the Dawgs will do their best imitation of an unwanted fox in a hen house. Of course, Roosters don’t lay eggs, and so the Mutts from Athens may be disappointed. But before the USC Birds go to crow, they will discover that Bulldogs do have a taste for poultry. Van’s Vanquished, South Carolina.
The Nashville Navy of Vanderbilt stays in its home port for an early evening tilt with LSU. The ship of state that is Vandy football has already sprung a leak though, and the Cumberlanders will be bailing as fast as they can empty buckets. Meanwhile the Bayou Bengals will have a Cheshire grin on their faces ready to pounce on any Commodores that don’t go down with the ship. Van’s Vanquished, Vanderbilt.
Mississippi plays a former SEC rival Tulane in the Crescent City, while still plucking Jacksonville talons out of their hide. The Rebels of Ole Miss will be yelling and ready to hold back the Emerald tide of Two-lane and the Superdome won’t be such a Super home for the boys from New Orleans. Van’s Vanquished, Tulane.
The Mighty Ducks of Oregon will make the cross country flight to the hills of Tennessee Saturday night, where the checkerboard end zones look inviting. The Pac-10 visitors will find the Knoxville landing strip to be a bit Rocky though, and can only hope not to Quack up. Blue-tick hounds might not make great waterfowl dogs, but they won’t have to this night. Van’s Vanquished, Oregon.
In other SEC action,
The Bulls of South Florida will be vanquished by the Gators of all of Florida,
Western Kentucky will be the ones “hill” topped, vanquished by the University of Kentucky, and
Louisiana-Monroe will be vanquished by Arkansas.
In the ACC, the 2 Florida schools hit the road for marquis matchups against national powers.
In Big Ten country, the U of Miami goes to the Shoe of the Ohio State University. The denizens of Coral Gables hope to use this game as a showcase of their return to prominence, but such touting may be premature. The poison nuts that are Buckeyes have a little known use, cloud-seeding Hurricanes, and the skies over Columbus will remain calm. Van’s Vanquished, Miami.
Meanwhile, the Seminole tribe of Florida State hits the trail to what was once Indian Territory. Chief Osceola and his warriors will do their best to raid the Sooner Scooner wagon train, but all the whooping won’t do much against the Boomers. Oklahoma will be doing fine by the end of the night, with nary an arrow to pull out or a scalp out of place. Van’s Vanquished, FSU.
The two most fiendish (in mascots only) schools in the conference meet in the Tobacco Bowl on Saturday, when the Blue Devils visit the Demon Deacons. Year Two of the Cutcliffe regime at Duke started well last week, but time brings a more “formidable” foe this week in Wake Forest. No matter how weak the boys from the cigarette capital are though, the Methodists from old Trinity College will be no “match” for the Baptists of Winston. Van’s Vanquished, Duke.
Georgia Tech goes to the land of Dorothy and Toto when they travel to Kansas. The Jayhawks of the Big Twelve are better known as a basketball school, for good reason, and not just because the inventor of the game coached there. There should be no tornados to interrupt the flight path of the Yellow Jackets. Van’s Vanquished, Kansas.
In the first game of the Mike London era, the Wahoos beat their coach’s former school. There’s a tougher bridge to cross this week though when the Cavaliers ride into the Coliseum in Los Angeles to face Southern California. The equine representatives of both teams may be evenly matched, but the weaponry of their riders are not. Broad swords over sabres, Van’s Vanquished, Virginia.
Rounding out the ACC slate,
Kent State will be vanquished by Boston College,
NC State will be vanquished by Central Florida, and
In three in-state “clashes”,
Presbyterian will be vanquished by Clemson,
Morgan State will be vanquished by Maryland, and
James Madison will be vanquished by Virginia Tech.
Ol’ Van could have used a double dose of Leonard’s Smart Pills last week, as he went out on a limb or two too many (not to mention plum forgetting one game altogether), and ended up going 17 and 6, in what should have been a much easier week. The weeks won’t get any easier here on out.
The Plainsmen of Auburn leave their little Village and head for the bright lights of StarkVegas Thursday night. There they'll find the Bulldogs of Mississippi State licking their chops hoping to get their canines on some East Alabama felines. Cats can be wily and usually hard to herd though, but the Cowbellers of MSU will have just enough sheep dog in them. Van’s Vanquished, Auburn.
A living legend brings his white clad Nittanies to Tuscaloosa Saturday to face the defending national champs of Alabama. JoePa may not like what he sees through those thick glasses of his as the Keystone State Lions turn into ‘fraidy cats, at the prospect of being doused by a Crimson Tide. The roar coming from Bryant-Denny won’t be that of a relative of the king of the jungle, but will be coming from a long gray trunk instead. Van’s Vanquished, Penn State.
Steve Spurrier and the Gamecocks play host to Georgia, and the Dawgs will do their best imitation of an unwanted fox in a hen house. Of course, Roosters don’t lay eggs, and so the Mutts from Athens may be disappointed. But before the USC Birds go to crow, they will discover that Bulldogs do have a taste for poultry. Van’s Vanquished, South Carolina.
The Nashville Navy of Vanderbilt stays in its home port for an early evening tilt with LSU. The ship of state that is Vandy football has already sprung a leak though, and the Cumberlanders will be bailing as fast as they can empty buckets. Meanwhile the Bayou Bengals will have a Cheshire grin on their faces ready to pounce on any Commodores that don’t go down with the ship. Van’s Vanquished, Vanderbilt.
Mississippi plays a former SEC rival Tulane in the Crescent City, while still plucking Jacksonville talons out of their hide. The Rebels of Ole Miss will be yelling and ready to hold back the Emerald tide of Two-lane and the Superdome won’t be such a Super home for the boys from New Orleans. Van’s Vanquished, Tulane.
The Mighty Ducks of Oregon will make the cross country flight to the hills of Tennessee Saturday night, where the checkerboard end zones look inviting. The Pac-10 visitors will find the Knoxville landing strip to be a bit Rocky though, and can only hope not to Quack up. Blue-tick hounds might not make great waterfowl dogs, but they won’t have to this night. Van’s Vanquished, Oregon.
In other SEC action,
The Bulls of South Florida will be vanquished by the Gators of all of Florida,
Western Kentucky will be the ones “hill” topped, vanquished by the University of Kentucky, and
Louisiana-Monroe will be vanquished by Arkansas.
In the ACC, the 2 Florida schools hit the road for marquis matchups against national powers.
In Big Ten country, the U of Miami goes to the Shoe of the Ohio State University. The denizens of Coral Gables hope to use this game as a showcase of their return to prominence, but such touting may be premature. The poison nuts that are Buckeyes have a little known use, cloud-seeding Hurricanes, and the skies over Columbus will remain calm. Van’s Vanquished, Miami.
Meanwhile, the Seminole tribe of Florida State hits the trail to what was once Indian Territory. Chief Osceola and his warriors will do their best to raid the Sooner Scooner wagon train, but all the whooping won’t do much against the Boomers. Oklahoma will be doing fine by the end of the night, with nary an arrow to pull out or a scalp out of place. Van’s Vanquished, FSU.
The two most fiendish (in mascots only) schools in the conference meet in the Tobacco Bowl on Saturday, when the Blue Devils visit the Demon Deacons. Year Two of the Cutcliffe regime at Duke started well last week, but time brings a more “formidable” foe this week in Wake Forest. No matter how weak the boys from the cigarette capital are though, the Methodists from old Trinity College will be no “match” for the Baptists of Winston. Van’s Vanquished, Duke.
Georgia Tech goes to the land of Dorothy and Toto when they travel to Kansas. The Jayhawks of the Big Twelve are better known as a basketball school, for good reason, and not just because the inventor of the game coached there. There should be no tornados to interrupt the flight path of the Yellow Jackets. Van’s Vanquished, Kansas.
In the first game of the Mike London era, the Wahoos beat their coach’s former school. There’s a tougher bridge to cross this week though when the Cavaliers ride into the Coliseum in Los Angeles to face Southern California. The equine representatives of both teams may be evenly matched, but the weaponry of their riders are not. Broad swords over sabres, Van’s Vanquished, Virginia.
Rounding out the ACC slate,
Kent State will be vanquished by Boston College,
NC State will be vanquished by Central Florida, and
In three in-state “clashes”,
Presbyterian will be vanquished by Clemson,
Morgan State will be vanquished by Maryland, and
James Madison will be vanquished by Virginia Tech.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
The Vanquished - Week 1
In tribute to a dearly departed, but not forgotten, pigskin prognosticator, Leonard Postosties, here is one man’s picks of the Losers in this week’s gridiron tussles in the SEC and the ACC. Unfortunately your humble servant, Van Vanwinkle, has no Smart Pill to help him in his predictions or predilections, nor is Percy Peabody standing by to keep him out of trouble. Nevertheless, without further a-do, here are Van’s Vanquished for the first week of college football, 2010.
Les Miles brings his Bayou Bengals to the Georgia Dome Saturday to meet Butch Davis and his cast of Heels from North Carolina. The tar on those Heels won’t help ‘em this time though, as Mike the Tiger and the rest of the LSU felines will be chasing the Baby Blue Ewes out of the building. It’ll be Home Sweet Dome for the Red Stickers, Van’s Vanquished, UNC.
The Garnet and Black Roosters of South Carolina play host to ESPN (and Jenn Brown) on a Thursday night. And oh, Southern Mississippi is their opponent. A lot of feathers will be flying when the Golden Eagles of USM try to swoop down and snatch the Ol’ Ball Coach’s visor, but their wings will be clipped. The Cocks won’t bring much Game, but they won’t have to. Van’s Vanquishes, Southern Miss.
In the Battle of the Bluegrass State, Kentucky is the only SEC team dumb enough, uh, that is, schedule challenged to open its season on the road, playing in the pizza stadium that is home to the Redbirds of Lou-a-vul. New bosses for both the Lexington Lionettes and the Cardinals may make this game interesting, that is to say, boring, but in the end, being the home team is worth 6 slices, uh, points. Van’s Vanquished, Kentucky.
Vandy will play its bowl game at the beginning of the year (it sure won’t play one at the end), when Northwestern comes to town for the SAT Bowl. Normally the Nashville Navy should have little to fear from a bunch of Mildcats from Chicago, but these Purple Kitties only get mad when wet. The Commodores will be watching the smart guys from the Big Ten (or is it Twelve) “Sail On” down the Cumberland River. Van’s Vanquished, Vanderbilt.
In other SEC games:
San Jose State will be vanquished by Alabama.
Tennessee Tech will be vanquished by Arkansas.
Arkansas State will be vanquished by Auburn.
Miami of Ohio will be vanquished by Florida.
Louisiana Lafayette will be vanquished by Georgia.
Jacksonville State will be vanquished by Ole Miss.
Memphis will be vanquished by Mississippi State.
And UT – Martin will be vanquished by Tennessee.
In the ACC, its one true national contender brings Beamer Ball to the nation’s capital on Monday against the Broncos of Boise, State. The boys from the Smurf Turf land will be out to prove that the WAC ain’t whack, while the fellows from Virginia Poly will shake more than their Hokie tailfeathers trying to stop the Idahoans. Dreams of BCS busting will be just that though, as the Gobblers from Tech won’t be fooled by equine trickeration. Van’s Vanquished, Boise State.
Also on Monday the Terrapins of Mary-land will stare down the barrel of the gunboats of the U. S. Naval Academy’s football fleet. The hard shells of Ralph Friedgen’s red and black reptiles should help them fend off the salvos of the Midshipmen. But unfortunately for Maryland, Navy football is a more like a Marine amphibious landing than a carrier attack, and will fear no turtles. No goats to be had this day, Van’s Vanquished, Maryland.
The Southern Conference, the forerunner of both the ACC and the SEC, sends 3 teams to collect a check from their ACC foes.
In the Cats versus Dogs matchup, the Catamounts of Western Carolina will be vanquished by the Wolfpack of N. C. State.
In the game between two teams Bobby Bowden used to coach, the Bulldogs of Samford will be vanquished by Chief Osceola and his band of Seminoles of Florida State.
In the Rose Bowl East, the formerly Fighting Christians of Elon clash with the Methodists of Durham. In an upset (well the upset will be on the part of David Cutcliffe), the Blue Devils of Duke will be vanquished by the risen Phoenix of Elon.
In another battle of Biblical proportions, the Blue Hose of Presbyterian College take on the Baptists of Winston-Salem, but the Good will die young as PC will be vanquished by the Demon Deacons.
Rounding out the ACC slate:
Weber State will be vanquished by Boston College.
North Texas will be vanquished by Clemson.
South Carolina State will be vanquished by Georgia Tech.
And in a bonus upset, the Wahoos of Virginia will be feeling less Cavalier and more Spider-Bit, after being vanquished by Richmond.
Les Miles brings his Bayou Bengals to the Georgia Dome Saturday to meet Butch Davis and his cast of Heels from North Carolina. The tar on those Heels won’t help ‘em this time though, as Mike the Tiger and the rest of the LSU felines will be chasing the Baby Blue Ewes out of the building. It’ll be Home Sweet Dome for the Red Stickers, Van’s Vanquished, UNC.
The Garnet and Black Roosters of South Carolina play host to ESPN (and Jenn Brown) on a Thursday night. And oh, Southern Mississippi is their opponent. A lot of feathers will be flying when the Golden Eagles of USM try to swoop down and snatch the Ol’ Ball Coach’s visor, but their wings will be clipped. The Cocks won’t bring much Game, but they won’t have to. Van’s Vanquishes, Southern Miss.
In the Battle of the Bluegrass State, Kentucky is the only SEC team dumb enough, uh, that is, schedule challenged to open its season on the road, playing in the pizza stadium that is home to the Redbirds of Lou-a-vul. New bosses for both the Lexington Lionettes and the Cardinals may make this game interesting, that is to say, boring, but in the end, being the home team is worth 6 slices, uh, points. Van’s Vanquished, Kentucky.
Vandy will play its bowl game at the beginning of the year (it sure won’t play one at the end), when Northwestern comes to town for the SAT Bowl. Normally the Nashville Navy should have little to fear from a bunch of Mildcats from Chicago, but these Purple Kitties only get mad when wet. The Commodores will be watching the smart guys from the Big Ten (or is it Twelve) “Sail On” down the Cumberland River. Van’s Vanquished, Vanderbilt.
In other SEC games:
San Jose State will be vanquished by Alabama.
Tennessee Tech will be vanquished by Arkansas.
Arkansas State will be vanquished by Auburn.
Miami of Ohio will be vanquished by Florida.
Louisiana Lafayette will be vanquished by Georgia.
Jacksonville State will be vanquished by Ole Miss.
Memphis will be vanquished by Mississippi State.
And UT – Martin will be vanquished by Tennessee.
In the ACC, its one true national contender brings Beamer Ball to the nation’s capital on Monday against the Broncos of Boise, State. The boys from the Smurf Turf land will be out to prove that the WAC ain’t whack, while the fellows from Virginia Poly will shake more than their Hokie tailfeathers trying to stop the Idahoans. Dreams of BCS busting will be just that though, as the Gobblers from Tech won’t be fooled by equine trickeration. Van’s Vanquished, Boise State.
Also on Monday the Terrapins of Mary-land will stare down the barrel of the gunboats of the U. S. Naval Academy’s football fleet. The hard shells of Ralph Friedgen’s red and black reptiles should help them fend off the salvos of the Midshipmen. But unfortunately for Maryland, Navy football is a more like a Marine amphibious landing than a carrier attack, and will fear no turtles. No goats to be had this day, Van’s Vanquished, Maryland.
The Southern Conference, the forerunner of both the ACC and the SEC, sends 3 teams to collect a check from their ACC foes.
In the Cats versus Dogs matchup, the Catamounts of Western Carolina will be vanquished by the Wolfpack of N. C. State.
In the game between two teams Bobby Bowden used to coach, the Bulldogs of Samford will be vanquished by Chief Osceola and his band of Seminoles of Florida State.
In the Rose Bowl East, the formerly Fighting Christians of Elon clash with the Methodists of Durham. In an upset (well the upset will be on the part of David Cutcliffe), the Blue Devils of Duke will be vanquished by the risen Phoenix of Elon.
In another battle of Biblical proportions, the Blue Hose of Presbyterian College take on the Baptists of Winston-Salem, but the Good will die young as PC will be vanquished by the Demon Deacons.
Rounding out the ACC slate:
Weber State will be vanquished by Boston College.
North Texas will be vanquished by Clemson.
South Carolina State will be vanquished by Georgia Tech.
And in a bonus upset, the Wahoos of Virginia will be feeling less Cavalier and more Spider-Bit, after being vanquished by Richmond.
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