The Vanquished - Week 6

Here we are in the 6th week of college football and by now the personalities, or lack thereof, of most teams are pretty well formed. That makes picking the losers all the easier and picking the upsets all the harder. But fear not, your trusty forecaster of the oblong spheroid will continue in his appointed to quest to reveal the vanquished.

In the ACC for the first time probably since Miami joined the conference, the league has a marquise matchup of the Hurricanes and the Seminoles. The painted pony riders from Tallahassee will gallop into Coral Gables with gleaming warpaint and sharpened tomahawks. Unfortunately for the Noles, riding bareback means no stirrups to keep ‘em in the saddles, and the gale force wind that is Miami will be blowing pretty hard. Van’s Vanquished, Florida State.

N. C. State’s perfect start came to an end last week and this week they welcome coach Tom O’Brien’s former team, Boston College, to the Fairgrounds west of Raleigh. The air the Eagles have flown the last two weeks has been pretty turbulent, and the atmosphere in eastern North Carolina won’t be the most tranquil. The Carolina Canines have been licking their wounds all week and expect to dine on some Yankee poultry. Van’s Vanquished, Boston College.

In what before the season looked to be at least an interesting contest, the Tigers of Clemson travel Chapel Hill to take on UNC. Dabo Swinney’s crew have yet to beat a team of note, and unfortunately for them “going to Carolina” is not exact a lullaby. The baby bluecoats from the Southern Part of Heaven have a modest little winning streak going, and look for that to continue for the Heels. Van’s Vanquished, Clemson.

The scholars from Mr. Jefferson’s University venture south to face the Ramblin’ Wreck in Atlanta. The Wahoo-was from the Piedmont will have their sabres drawn, but those blades are looking mighty rusty. Even rusty metal will cut throw a butter defense though, and the Yellow Jacket defenders have been churned up a lot so far this year. The Cavalier offense is just anemic enough, though, for the Trade School 3-4ers to stop ‘em. Van’s Vanquished, Virginia.

In other ACC action, Navy will vanquish Wake Forest and Virginia Tech will vanquish Central Michigan.

In the SEC, Alabama continues its march to back to back national championships. Waiting in the weeds in Columbia, South Carolina Saturday will be some fired up feathered opponents. Steve Superior and the Gamecocks will have their beaks primed for poking some Pachyderm hides, but little roosters are no match for big Crimson trunks. Elephant trumpets trump Cock crows, Van’s Vanquished, South Carolina.

The luckiest (or the dumbest) coach in America leads the LSU Tigers into the Swamp in Gainesville where the most uptight coach and his charges await. The Cajun Cats from Louisiana have been using up their nine lives at an alarming rate and Gator-infested waters are not the most ideal element for felines. And unfortunately for the Red Stickers, this week’s opponent can count. Van’s Vanquished, LSU.

There is another undefeated team from the Heart of Dixie besides Alabama and this week that quieter team heads to the Bluegrass of Kentucky. While it will be a Cat versus Cat tilt, Kommonwealth Kitties are no real match for L. A. Tigers. Even if the home team had the speed of its neighbors from Churchill Downs, they couldn’t outrun the Jungle Jivers from Auburn. Van’s Vanquished, Kentucky.

In a battle (that term being used loosely) of two teams to show who wants it least, Tennessee travels to Georgia. These are times when the Athens faithful would be glad to see a Dooley walking their sideline, and this week they get their wish in a way when the Volunteers stroll into town. The Orange and Coonskins from East Tennessee will hope that math is not this week’s test, but it won’t matter. Red Clay beats Blue Tick. Van’s Vanquished, Tennessee.

In the other SEC contests, Arkansas will vanquish Texas A&M, Mississippi State will vanquish Houston and Vanderbilt will vanquish Eastern Michigan.